(Originally printed in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Mary E. (Schwamberg) Schetley
SCHETLEY MARY E. (SCHWAMBERG)
Age 83, on Monday, March 9, 2009, of Swissvale, wife of the late Albert J. Schetley; loving mother of Daniel (Grace), Thomas (Carol), Steven (Isabelle), and Eric and fiance Julie; grandmother of Thomas, Daniel, Louis, and Dillon; sister of the late Charles Schwamberg and the late Loretta Sova. Friends received Thurs. 2-4 & 6-8 at the THOMAS L. NIED FUNERAL HOME INC., 7441 Washington St., Swissvale. Mass of Christian Burial in St. Anselm Roman Catholic Church on Friday at 10am. Nied Funeral Home is a proud member of the Good Grief Center.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
You can't go home again, part IV
Today was all about making arrangements and cleaning out.
My brothers and I met at the funeral home at Noon today to work out the details of Mum's viewing. I'll post the link to the obituary tomorrow, but the bottom line is that the viewing is Thursday and the funeral mass is Friday.
There was no drama. There were no controversies. There was one point where I basically told them "it was going to be this way" when it came to her teddy bear. I'm honoring Mum's wishes, doing what she told me she wanted done years ago.
My brothers didn't necessarily like the outfit I picked out for her (which I really had no problem with...I'm a guy...Julie will tell you about my sense of fashion. I go with what I like and what's comfortable, even though some might disagree (coughsportcoatscough).
A new dress was found at the home, and she'll look lovely.
After the funeral home business was finished, we went to the cemetery to sign the paperwork (and get the sales pitch) to open the crypt, or as Mum used to call it, her filing cabinet.
They'll be ready for us on Friday morning after the mass.
My brothers and I parted ways once the business was completed, and I went out the the funeral home. There were some goodbyes with the staff there, hugs, well wishes...and then I had to go through her things.
Her clothes, we donated to the nursing home. It only seems fair, since the other residents were wearing some of her sweatshirts on many occasions.
She didn't have too much otherwise. A couple quilts my sister-in-law made. Some photos. I've brought everything back here and will go through it tomorrow.
Tomorrow is also contacting her insurance company to start the process of getting the policy cashed in. I might also take a trip back to my old stomping grounds in Oakland, see what (and who) I can see, if there's time.
It's the last "day off" before the funeral begins...
My brothers and I met at the funeral home at Noon today to work out the details of Mum's viewing. I'll post the link to the obituary tomorrow, but the bottom line is that the viewing is Thursday and the funeral mass is Friday.
There was no drama. There were no controversies. There was one point where I basically told them "it was going to be this way" when it came to her teddy bear. I'm honoring Mum's wishes, doing what she told me she wanted done years ago.
My brothers didn't necessarily like the outfit I picked out for her (which I really had no problem with...I'm a guy...Julie will tell you about my sense of fashion. I go with what I like and what's comfortable, even though some might disagree (coughsportcoatscough).
A new dress was found at the home, and she'll look lovely.
After the funeral home business was finished, we went to the cemetery to sign the paperwork (and get the sales pitch) to open the crypt, or as Mum used to call it, her filing cabinet.
They'll be ready for us on Friday morning after the mass.
My brothers and I parted ways once the business was completed, and I went out the the funeral home. There were some goodbyes with the staff there, hugs, well wishes...and then I had to go through her things.
Her clothes, we donated to the nursing home. It only seems fair, since the other residents were wearing some of her sweatshirts on many occasions.
She didn't have too much otherwise. A couple quilts my sister-in-law made. Some photos. I've brought everything back here and will go through it tomorrow.
Tomorrow is also contacting her insurance company to start the process of getting the policy cashed in. I might also take a trip back to my old stomping grounds in Oakland, see what (and who) I can see, if there's time.
It's the last "day off" before the funeral begins...
Monday, March 09, 2009
You can't go home again, Part III
I originally wasn't going to blog tonight.
But Mum died shortly before 8PM this evening.
I went out to see her earlier today. She was still in the hospital, resting, curled on her side a little. I think the nurses must've rolled her, so she wouldn't get any bedsores. I didn't say anything to her when I was there...it was just a visit to stop in and check on her before going out to the nursing home, and have a little talk with the folks out there.
The nursing home had moved her room without asking me on Friday, and I wanted to know why. As Dan would say later, it's rather a moot point, but it was something I was curious about. I have my suspicions, but I may never know the full story. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened out there.
I ran a few errands this afternoon. While I was out, a social worker called from the hospital saying they'd made arrangements with the ambulance company to return her to the home around 7. Not a problem, I told them, and I thanked them for the call.
Shortly after 7, I called the nursing home and asked to speak with her nurse. She told me that Mum had just arrived, and she was on oxygen, and she was about to setup the morphine. I told her to call me anytime, day or night, when her condition changed. She said she would.
Had a phone call from my cousin in California shortly thereafter, and we talked for a bit. Talked to Steve for a few minutes before going in to watch Top Gear with Tim and the kids at 8.
We'd just sat down to watch it when the cell phone rang. It was the nursing home. They told me that Mum had stopped breathing, and she was gone.
I told Tim I was taking off. He asked me if I was okay to drive, and I assured him I was. I called Steve first, letting him know, then Dan, then Tom. Called my cousin and a couple of Mum's friends to tell them the news. There weren't too many people Mum was still close friends with in her later years, but those that were close to her, I called. Texted a few friends of mine to let them know. Julie was still at work...tried to text Jess, but she didn't have her number.
Arrived at the nursing home shortly after 9, and met with one of the nursing associates, a lovely and extremely caring woman named "Dimples". She loved Mum, always referred to her as "mother", and said the two of them were going to go to Vegas and have a hell of a good time.
I gave her a bit of a hug and talked to her for a minute. She went in first to make sure Mum was...hm...I'm not sure what to say here, so I'll just leave it at "you know". If you don't, well...
She told me it was okay to go in.
I said my last goodbyes then and there. What I said, what I did, was personal, between me and Mum.
Called the funeral home and talked to them for a bit. Before Mum went into the nursing home, I'd met with a funeral director and made plans for her then and there. They still had those records, albeit partial, since some details couldn't be finalized, but it's a good start. Tomorrow...sorry...later this morning, my brothers and I have a meeting with the funeral home to make the final arrangements.
I'm the executor of her estate. My brothers are there for input and advice, but the final word is mine.
Her funeral will be later this week, sometime. I'm not sure when just yet.
To my friends, who have supported me over the years, I wanted to say "thank you", for everything you've done for me. It is appreciated more than you know.
To the love of my life, Julie...thank you. Your love is helping me more than you know, and even though you're not here in person right now, I feel you with me, holding me up. I will be back to you soon, beloved.
All that I can say now is...goodbye, Mama. You've earned your rest. It's our turn now.
Don't be sad for me, for us. You've got the easy part. You let us do the worrying now.
I said this before, and I will say it one last time: I love you. I always have, and I always will.
But Mum died shortly before 8PM this evening.
I went out to see her earlier today. She was still in the hospital, resting, curled on her side a little. I think the nurses must've rolled her, so she wouldn't get any bedsores. I didn't say anything to her when I was there...it was just a visit to stop in and check on her before going out to the nursing home, and have a little talk with the folks out there.
The nursing home had moved her room without asking me on Friday, and I wanted to know why. As Dan would say later, it's rather a moot point, but it was something I was curious about. I have my suspicions, but I may never know the full story. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened out there.
I ran a few errands this afternoon. While I was out, a social worker called from the hospital saying they'd made arrangements with the ambulance company to return her to the home around 7. Not a problem, I told them, and I thanked them for the call.
Shortly after 7, I called the nursing home and asked to speak with her nurse. She told me that Mum had just arrived, and she was on oxygen, and she was about to setup the morphine. I told her to call me anytime, day or night, when her condition changed. She said she would.
Had a phone call from my cousin in California shortly thereafter, and we talked for a bit. Talked to Steve for a few minutes before going in to watch Top Gear with Tim and the kids at 8.
We'd just sat down to watch it when the cell phone rang. It was the nursing home. They told me that Mum had stopped breathing, and she was gone.
I told Tim I was taking off. He asked me if I was okay to drive, and I assured him I was. I called Steve first, letting him know, then Dan, then Tom. Called my cousin and a couple of Mum's friends to tell them the news. There weren't too many people Mum was still close friends with in her later years, but those that were close to her, I called. Texted a few friends of mine to let them know. Julie was still at work...tried to text Jess, but she didn't have her number.
Arrived at the nursing home shortly after 9, and met with one of the nursing associates, a lovely and extremely caring woman named "Dimples". She loved Mum, always referred to her as "mother", and said the two of them were going to go to Vegas and have a hell of a good time.
I gave her a bit of a hug and talked to her for a minute. She went in first to make sure Mum was...hm...I'm not sure what to say here, so I'll just leave it at "you know". If you don't, well...
She told me it was okay to go in.
I said my last goodbyes then and there. What I said, what I did, was personal, between me and Mum.
Called the funeral home and talked to them for a bit. Before Mum went into the nursing home, I'd met with a funeral director and made plans for her then and there. They still had those records, albeit partial, since some details couldn't be finalized, but it's a good start. Tomorrow...sorry...later this morning, my brothers and I have a meeting with the funeral home to make the final arrangements.
I'm the executor of her estate. My brothers are there for input and advice, but the final word is mine.
Her funeral will be later this week, sometime. I'm not sure when just yet.
To my friends, who have supported me over the years, I wanted to say "thank you", for everything you've done for me. It is appreciated more than you know.
To the love of my life, Julie...thank you. Your love is helping me more than you know, and even though you're not here in person right now, I feel you with me, holding me up. I will be back to you soon, beloved.
All that I can say now is...goodbye, Mama. You've earned your rest. It's our turn now.
Don't be sad for me, for us. You've got the easy part. You let us do the worrying now.
I said this before, and I will say it one last time: I love you. I always have, and I always will.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
You can't go home again, part II
This was written at different times Sunday.
My first full day back in Pittsburgh started with three different events:
* Six in the morning, two alarms started going off in the bedrooms upstairs. I think Tim and the kids just didn't bother to turn them off, which is fine, but they were loud enough to wake me downstairs. I stumbled upstairs, found the offending machines, and turned them off.
* About a hour and a half later, Julie texted me to see if I was up. We talked for a bit, which was nice. Seems she didn't sleep too well in a house all by herself. Don't tell anyone this, but I think she missed me. She had to leave for work, so I decided to get up.
* Came in and sat down in the dining room. Outside, I'd heard the distinctive chirp of a blue jay outside...something I hadn't heard for some time. That brought a smile...if you've never heard the blue jay's chirp, it's a shame. I used to love to wake up hearing it sing. It was nice.
I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse taking care of Mum. She told me the diarrhetic they'd given her last night drained about 1,000 milliliters of fluid from her, that she was on a very sloe morphine drip and was resting comfortably. I figured I'd get up, start my day, run a few errands and then go see her.
It's so very strange being back here. Driving roads I've driven for years seem familiar yet strange at the same time. I lived here all my life, but it's not my home anymore. I feel like a stranger in a foreign land, yet at home.
I took my laptop out with me, Stopped at Wally-Mart for a few things, and then hit King's for a late breakfast. They have free Wi-Fi. Gotta love that.
It's now about 6:30. I left the hospital about an hour or so ago, and am decompressing in a local Panera Bread, sipping an iced green tea and reflecting about what's going on.
I had the chance to talk to Mum's doctor today. A really nice guy, he took care of her since she went into the nursing home. I didn't always see eye-to-eye with him, but he is a good man, and he's done his best.
We talked a bit. He recapped everything that's happened since Thursday night/Friday morning. Right now, Mum's got pneumonia in both lungs and a number of infections. He called in several specialists; lung, heart, kidney and infection.
He asked how aggressively we wanted to pursue her treatments. After talking to my brothers the last few days, I felt comfortable saying that we're just gonna let nature take its course.
The doctor concurred, even though it's not the easiest decision to reach. To treat her infections (one of which is MRSA), she'd require four different antibiotics. Given her history of allergic reactions to antibiotics, it didn't seem wise to go with that treatment. They've stopped all antibiotic treatments, they're not giving her any nutriments via peg tube, and they've got her on an morphine IV.
He thinks she might have a few days left.
I called my brothers and told them. For the most part, they've accepted the news, although I think one of them is not taking it very well. I'm not surprised by that. I knew he'd have a hard time with it. The nice thing is, they asked where I'd be staying, and I told them with Tim. Dan offered to put me up at his place, but I'll stay where I am. It's closer to the funeral home...
I talked to Julie, and she asked if I was all right with it. Honestly, I am. It doesn't mean that when she does die, it's not gonna be easy, but it will be a relief off my shoulders.
I'm doing what is best for her. Her quality of life right now is horrendous, and this is the best thing we can do for her.
I'll be in Pittsburgh until the end of the week. If she goes before then, I'll stay for the funeral, if not, I'll just come back when she does pass.
Gonna post this now, finish my tea and head back to Tim's place. He got back in town a little bit ago, and I wanted to give him a chance to rest before coming home.
My first full day back in Pittsburgh started with three different events:
* Six in the morning, two alarms started going off in the bedrooms upstairs. I think Tim and the kids just didn't bother to turn them off, which is fine, but they were loud enough to wake me downstairs. I stumbled upstairs, found the offending machines, and turned them off.
* About a hour and a half later, Julie texted me to see if I was up. We talked for a bit, which was nice. Seems she didn't sleep too well in a house all by herself. Don't tell anyone this, but I think she missed me. She had to leave for work, so I decided to get up.
* Came in and sat down in the dining room. Outside, I'd heard the distinctive chirp of a blue jay outside...something I hadn't heard for some time. That brought a smile...if you've never heard the blue jay's chirp, it's a shame. I used to love to wake up hearing it sing. It was nice.
I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse taking care of Mum. She told me the diarrhetic they'd given her last night drained about 1,000 milliliters of fluid from her, that she was on a very sloe morphine drip and was resting comfortably. I figured I'd get up, start my day, run a few errands and then go see her.
It's so very strange being back here. Driving roads I've driven for years seem familiar yet strange at the same time. I lived here all my life, but it's not my home anymore. I feel like a stranger in a foreign land, yet at home.
I took my laptop out with me, Stopped at Wally-Mart for a few things, and then hit King's for a late breakfast. They have free Wi-Fi. Gotta love that.
It's now about 6:30. I left the hospital about an hour or so ago, and am decompressing in a local Panera Bread, sipping an iced green tea and reflecting about what's going on.
I had the chance to talk to Mum's doctor today. A really nice guy, he took care of her since she went into the nursing home. I didn't always see eye-to-eye with him, but he is a good man, and he's done his best.
We talked a bit. He recapped everything that's happened since Thursday night/Friday morning. Right now, Mum's got pneumonia in both lungs and a number of infections. He called in several specialists; lung, heart, kidney and infection.
He asked how aggressively we wanted to pursue her treatments. After talking to my brothers the last few days, I felt comfortable saying that we're just gonna let nature take its course.
The doctor concurred, even though it's not the easiest decision to reach. To treat her infections (one of which is MRSA), she'd require four different antibiotics. Given her history of allergic reactions to antibiotics, it didn't seem wise to go with that treatment. They've stopped all antibiotic treatments, they're not giving her any nutriments via peg tube, and they've got her on an morphine IV.
He thinks she might have a few days left.
I called my brothers and told them. For the most part, they've accepted the news, although I think one of them is not taking it very well. I'm not surprised by that. I knew he'd have a hard time with it. The nice thing is, they asked where I'd be staying, and I told them with Tim. Dan offered to put me up at his place, but I'll stay where I am. It's closer to the funeral home...
I talked to Julie, and she asked if I was all right with it. Honestly, I am. It doesn't mean that when she does die, it's not gonna be easy, but it will be a relief off my shoulders.
I'm doing what is best for her. Her quality of life right now is horrendous, and this is the best thing we can do for her.
I'll be in Pittsburgh until the end of the week. If she goes before then, I'll stay for the funeral, if not, I'll just come back when she does pass.
Gonna post this now, finish my tea and head back to Tim's place. He got back in town a little bit ago, and I wanted to give him a chance to rest before coming home.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
You can't go home again, part I
It's almost Midnight as I start to type this. I'm at Tim's place (after setting off his home security alarm) and I'm almost ready to call it a night.
It's been a long day.
Left DeKalb around 9 this morning and drove through some very nasty thunderstorms. The rain was coming down so hard and heavy that, at times, I could only see at best 100 feet in front of me.
Of course, that didn't stop most idiots from going at least 15 over the limit.
Julie was very sad to see me go. I didn't want to leave, and being away from her...hurts, but I've gotta do what I have to do.
After about a nine and a half hour drive (I had to go slow because of weather at first, and then minding my speed during some speed traps), I arrived at the hospital just as they were calling me.
Mum was having more trouble breathing...her lungs were full, and she was gurguling. They wanted to let me know they were going to suction her lungs and start her on a morphine drip.
It was kinda funny, in a way. The nurse left a message on my cell because I was talking to someone else, but when I heard the voicemail, I was already in the hospital, so I walked up to the nurses station. She was on the phone with my brother trying to reach me, when I looked at her and said "I'm Eric".
Guess you had to be there.
I saw Mum. I won't go into too many details, but she was having trouble breathing, she didn't respond to anything I was saying, and she looked...tired.
Right now, they're just keeping her comfortable, and they'll call me if anything changes, no matter the time of day.
I'm going to go crash on Tim's couch now. Had a Primanti Bros' sammich...that was so good...but now I'm gonna see if I can get any sleep.
It's been a long day.
Left DeKalb around 9 this morning and drove through some very nasty thunderstorms. The rain was coming down so hard and heavy that, at times, I could only see at best 100 feet in front of me.
Of course, that didn't stop most idiots from going at least 15 over the limit.
Julie was very sad to see me go. I didn't want to leave, and being away from her...hurts, but I've gotta do what I have to do.
After about a nine and a half hour drive (I had to go slow because of weather at first, and then minding my speed during some speed traps), I arrived at the hospital just as they were calling me.
Mum was having more trouble breathing...her lungs were full, and she was gurguling. They wanted to let me know they were going to suction her lungs and start her on a morphine drip.
It was kinda funny, in a way. The nurse left a message on my cell because I was talking to someone else, but when I heard the voicemail, I was already in the hospital, so I walked up to the nurses station. She was on the phone with my brother trying to reach me, when I looked at her and said "I'm Eric".
Guess you had to be there.
I saw Mum. I won't go into too many details, but she was having trouble breathing, she didn't respond to anything I was saying, and she looked...tired.
Right now, they're just keeping her comfortable, and they'll call me if anything changes, no matter the time of day.
I'm going to go crash on Tim's couch now. Had a Primanti Bros' sammich...that was so good...but now I'm gonna see if I can get any sleep.
Friday, March 06, 2009
One last time
It was 2 in the morning when the phone rang.
I thought it was Julie calling me, saying that Jessica had gone into labor. When I saw it was the nursing home on the Caller ID...I knew it was bad.
The nurse told me that Mum was aspirating again. They had to drain a lot of liquid from her lungs, and they wanted to know whether to just give her morphine to make her comfortable, or to send her to the emergency room. They'd already called her doctor, and he said either was okay. It was my call.
I said send her to the emergency room.
She was going to Jeannette hospital, about 20 minutes away. I called back a few minutes later, and they told me they were sending her to Westmoreland County hospital, which was closer...because the paramedics said she'd stopped breathing.
I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse on duty, explaining who I was and what was going on. Told him the history, and he said the paramedics were bringing her in and he'd call me back.
Her condition was "grave".
A little later, I called back. Talked to the same nurse who explained that she had pneumonia in the lower right lung, a fever of 102, her blood sugar was over 500 and she'd aspirated again. Her breathing was shallow. Her pulse, blood pressure and oxygen were low.
It wasn't looking good.
I waited until it was about 6 in the morning, Pittsburgh time, before calling my brothers with the news. I'd been awake for about 3 hours by that point.
After getting them caught up on what happened. I walked over and saw Julie. Told her about it. Held her for the longest time.
This afternoon, the nurse on duty called me. They told me she was having a hard time breathing. There was no gag reflex. They'd rub her chest and call her name out loudly, and all she'd do is open her eyes for a second and then close them again.
The nurse told me that if we wanted to see her one more time, we should come out tonight...maybe tomorrow.
Once again, I called my brothers. Told them the news.
Tomorrow morning, Julie has to go to work at 9 AM. I'm going to follow her over to the store, and then take off for Pittsburgh.
I don't want to leave, especially not now. I so wanted to be here for Jessica when she gave birth to Curtis. I apologized to her, and while I think she understands, I think I saw a bit of hurt in her eyes. She did say she regretted not seeing her grandmother one last time, and had told me I should take advantage of one last visit.
She's a smart one, that girl. She's going to make a wonderful mother.
Worst of all is I don't want to leave Julie. Tears are welling up in my eyes at the thought of that. I told her I understood that she couldn't come, because she has to work and she has to be here for Jessica when the baby comes.
Maybe I'll get lucky and Curtis will wait and make his grand entrance into this world when I get back.
My suitcase is packed. My suits are ready. Either this is the final goodbye or I'll be making funeral arrangements. Tim is gracious enough to let me crash at his place. My brothers didn't offer and I didn't ask.
Right now I'm going downstairs and climb in bed with Julie. I know I'll be back to her soon. I'll be gone a week...maybe more, maybe less. I don't know. Small words that do little to help right now.
I don't know when I'll blog again. I'll try and update when I know more, but for now...
I thought it was Julie calling me, saying that Jessica had gone into labor. When I saw it was the nursing home on the Caller ID...I knew it was bad.
The nurse told me that Mum was aspirating again. They had to drain a lot of liquid from her lungs, and they wanted to know whether to just give her morphine to make her comfortable, or to send her to the emergency room. They'd already called her doctor, and he said either was okay. It was my call.
I said send her to the emergency room.
She was going to Jeannette hospital, about 20 minutes away. I called back a few minutes later, and they told me they were sending her to Westmoreland County hospital, which was closer...because the paramedics said she'd stopped breathing.
I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse on duty, explaining who I was and what was going on. Told him the history, and he said the paramedics were bringing her in and he'd call me back.
Her condition was "grave".
A little later, I called back. Talked to the same nurse who explained that she had pneumonia in the lower right lung, a fever of 102, her blood sugar was over 500 and she'd aspirated again. Her breathing was shallow. Her pulse, blood pressure and oxygen were low.
It wasn't looking good.
I waited until it was about 6 in the morning, Pittsburgh time, before calling my brothers with the news. I'd been awake for about 3 hours by that point.
After getting them caught up on what happened. I walked over and saw Julie. Told her about it. Held her for the longest time.
This afternoon, the nurse on duty called me. They told me she was having a hard time breathing. There was no gag reflex. They'd rub her chest and call her name out loudly, and all she'd do is open her eyes for a second and then close them again.
The nurse told me that if we wanted to see her one more time, we should come out tonight...maybe tomorrow.
Once again, I called my brothers. Told them the news.
Tomorrow morning, Julie has to go to work at 9 AM. I'm going to follow her over to the store, and then take off for Pittsburgh.
I don't want to leave, especially not now. I so wanted to be here for Jessica when she gave birth to Curtis. I apologized to her, and while I think she understands, I think I saw a bit of hurt in her eyes. She did say she regretted not seeing her grandmother one last time, and had told me I should take advantage of one last visit.
She's a smart one, that girl. She's going to make a wonderful mother.
Worst of all is I don't want to leave Julie. Tears are welling up in my eyes at the thought of that. I told her I understood that she couldn't come, because she has to work and she has to be here for Jessica when the baby comes.
Maybe I'll get lucky and Curtis will wait and make his grand entrance into this world when I get back.
My suitcase is packed. My suits are ready. Either this is the final goodbye or I'll be making funeral arrangements. Tim is gracious enough to let me crash at his place. My brothers didn't offer and I didn't ask.
Right now I'm going downstairs and climb in bed with Julie. I know I'll be back to her soon. I'll be gone a week...maybe more, maybe less. I don't know. Small words that do little to help right now.
I don't know when I'll blog again. I'll try and update when I know more, but for now...
Monday, March 02, 2009
Update
I called the nursing home today. The Kid is doing a bit better.
They think it was one of her medicines that was making her lethargic, and either acid reflux or the stuff from the tube feeding was backing up into her lungs.
They discontinued the medication and haven't had to flush her lungs out since Sunday morning. She was responsive and a little better.
Sigh...
They think it was one of her medicines that was making her lethargic, and either acid reflux or the stuff from the tube feeding was backing up into her lungs.
They discontinued the medication and haven't had to flush her lungs out since Sunday morning. She was responsive and a little better.
Sigh...
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The wake up call
Friday night was game night over here at my place. Julie, most of the kids, and some good friends were over for a couple games. Things like spoons, Taboo, Pit...stuff like that. We had a great time, but we didn't end up going to bed until about 2 in the morning.
About 8:30, barely six and a half hours and nowhere near enough sleep, my phone started to ring. Julie said it was likely Kathy (her best friend) calling to see if we were up. I didn't get to it in time, barely able to move and trying to start my day.
When I did get to the phone, it was the nursing home.
They called to tell me that Mum was getting worse.
They also thought that earlier in the morning, they thought "she was a goner".
Seems that there's been more and more fluid building up in her lungs. The pneumonia she had must not have gone away. Julie, at first, thought there might've been a problem with how they're feeding her with the peg tube, but they're doing it the correct way. Unless the food is working its way back up her esophagus and down into her lungs (the little flap that keeps food from not going into the lungs doesn't work nearly as well as it should)...well, we're not sure.
They've had to clear her lungs several times in the past 24 hours. They didn't feed her yesterday, and so far the doc hasn't said to send her to the hospital.
I'm thinking I may have to make a road trip very, very soon...
About 8:30, barely six and a half hours and nowhere near enough sleep, my phone started to ring. Julie said it was likely Kathy (her best friend) calling to see if we were up. I didn't get to it in time, barely able to move and trying to start my day.
When I did get to the phone, it was the nursing home.
They called to tell me that Mum was getting worse.
They also thought that earlier in the morning, they thought "she was a goner".
Seems that there's been more and more fluid building up in her lungs. The pneumonia she had must not have gone away. Julie, at first, thought there might've been a problem with how they're feeding her with the peg tube, but they're doing it the correct way. Unless the food is working its way back up her esophagus and down into her lungs (the little flap that keeps food from not going into the lungs doesn't work nearly as well as it should)...well, we're not sure.
They've had to clear her lungs several times in the past 24 hours. They didn't feed her yesterday, and so far the doc hasn't said to send her to the hospital.
I'm thinking I may have to make a road trip very, very soon...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Short and sweet
My love. She is so beautiful.
I am so thankful for her. Her love, I know, keeps me going and keeps me sane.
That's all. I just wanted to show off this nice picture of her, and say "I love you, Julie".
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
An update
It's been awhile since I've talked about My Kid. Figure an update is in order.
Two weeks ago, I got a call from the hospital, wanting some information. I told Julie that it might have to do with the new year, and they're just wanting to make sure her insurance is still up-to-date.
If only it were that.
When I called, they told me they had my brother on the other line, and they were getting what they needed from him. Strange, but I just said "okay", told them if they needed anything else to give me a call and let me know, and left it at that. After all, the nursing home didn't call me to say something's wrong, so I figured everything was all right.
My oldest brother called me later that night and gave me the news: Mum was back in the hospital with another UTI, and a mild case of pneumonia. They had called him to let him know The Kid was out there, she was on antibiotics, the same as usual. She's been through this so many times before, we all know the routine quite well.
They also let him know that the pneumonia was likely due to her aspirating again. See, when she gets the Urinary Tract Infections, she becomes very listless, and moving her around is like trying to move an elephant seal with a spoon; it ain't very easy.
Because she has trouble eating to begin with, they figure she got food into her lungs (they've cleaned out considerable gunk from them, from what I've gathered) and they don't want to feed her because it'll just make matters worse.
She was in the hospital for about a week, getting antibiotics and treatments before they returned her back to the home. Once she got back there...she was still having trouble eating.
She aspirated again.
This has happened before (as long-time readers of this blog well know), and My Kid has been good at bouncing back, usually within a day or so of returning to the home. She didn't, and the speech therapist (a wonderful and patient woman by the name of Kelly) told me that the hospital didn't send along records or anything of the work they did on her there. No information saying some days she could eat with no problem, some days, she couldn't.
The feeding tube option was brought up again. This time, my brothers (who've taken a more proactive role in her well being, since I moved out of state) and I talked via conference call as to what to do. They knew I was against the peg tube - only because that was The Kid's wishes: She didn't want any life-sustaining device.
Since she's not comatose, we decided, this didn't apply. She was weak from hunger (she hadn't eaten anything in nearly a week by this point) and she likely didn't have the strength to want to eat anything. If she got a peg tube, she should be able to regain enough strength to be able to hopefully eat normally again.
I suggested we wait 24 hours. Past experience showed that she usually needed a day to "readjust" to being back in the home after leaving the hospital (and vice versa), so we'd wait and see how she did for dinner that night and breakfast that morning.
I called Kelly back at the nursing home Friday of last week after breakfast to see how she was, and she told me there was no change. She was still choking because, frankly, Mum has forgotten how to swallow and has no strength to even try.
A couple phone calls, a quick discussion with my brothers, and I made the call. We authorized a feeding tube to be inserted in her.
Her doctor at the home couldn't get the surgeon he usually recommends until Tuesday, so she went the whole weekend without food.
As of yesterday afternoon, they inserted the tube in her stomach. By 10 last night, they started giving her nutrients, water and medication through the peg tube. They're hopeful...as am I...that her strength will return, she'll be able to eat again by mouth, and maybe this will help with other problems she has as well. Her skin is very thin...she bruises really easily...and maybe this will help with that.
Julie keeps asking me if I'm all right with this. With being here and my brothers being there, and taking care of things.
For the most part, I am. I knew a moment like this would occur when I made the decision to move and I don't regret that decision for one second, nor would I do things differently. I want to be with Julie, near her, and live this life.
Still, there's a nagging little voice in the back of my head that wonders...if I was there, would she have recovered quicker? Would this be necessary? Would my presence have made a difference, or is that just ego talking? Is this the inevitable end approaching, and my being there or no...would it make a damn bit of difference?
Silent questions I have no...and will never have...answers for.
All I can do is sit back right now and wait. Make phone calls. Let my brothers handle things. (My oldest brother was at the hospital with her yesterday for the surgery...something I've always been the one to do.)
Deep down I also realize that...because I was in control of The Kid's life for so very long, it's not easy just sitting back and doing, basically, nothing. That's the problem and illusion with control. You feel you need to take charge and handle everything and do it all yourself. When changes come, and you're not the one in control anymore, letting go is incredibly hard.
Accepting this is not easy, but it's something I'm learning to do. It's just another difficult lesson, one of so many I've had to learn.
...
She's getting food now, from the tube. When I know more, I'll share.
Two weeks ago, I got a call from the hospital, wanting some information. I told Julie that it might have to do with the new year, and they're just wanting to make sure her insurance is still up-to-date.
If only it were that.
When I called, they told me they had my brother on the other line, and they were getting what they needed from him. Strange, but I just said "okay", told them if they needed anything else to give me a call and let me know, and left it at that. After all, the nursing home didn't call me to say something's wrong, so I figured everything was all right.
My oldest brother called me later that night and gave me the news: Mum was back in the hospital with another UTI, and a mild case of pneumonia. They had called him to let him know The Kid was out there, she was on antibiotics, the same as usual. She's been through this so many times before, we all know the routine quite well.
They also let him know that the pneumonia was likely due to her aspirating again. See, when she gets the Urinary Tract Infections, she becomes very listless, and moving her around is like trying to move an elephant seal with a spoon; it ain't very easy.
Because she has trouble eating to begin with, they figure she got food into her lungs (they've cleaned out considerable gunk from them, from what I've gathered) and they don't want to feed her because it'll just make matters worse.
She was in the hospital for about a week, getting antibiotics and treatments before they returned her back to the home. Once she got back there...she was still having trouble eating.
She aspirated again.
This has happened before (as long-time readers of this blog well know), and My Kid has been good at bouncing back, usually within a day or so of returning to the home. She didn't, and the speech therapist (a wonderful and patient woman by the name of Kelly) told me that the hospital didn't send along records or anything of the work they did on her there. No information saying some days she could eat with no problem, some days, she couldn't.
The feeding tube option was brought up again. This time, my brothers (who've taken a more proactive role in her well being, since I moved out of state) and I talked via conference call as to what to do. They knew I was against the peg tube - only because that was The Kid's wishes: She didn't want any life-sustaining device.
Since she's not comatose, we decided, this didn't apply. She was weak from hunger (she hadn't eaten anything in nearly a week by this point) and she likely didn't have the strength to want to eat anything. If she got a peg tube, she should be able to regain enough strength to be able to hopefully eat normally again.
I suggested we wait 24 hours. Past experience showed that she usually needed a day to "readjust" to being back in the home after leaving the hospital (and vice versa), so we'd wait and see how she did for dinner that night and breakfast that morning.
I called Kelly back at the nursing home Friday of last week after breakfast to see how she was, and she told me there was no change. She was still choking because, frankly, Mum has forgotten how to swallow and has no strength to even try.
A couple phone calls, a quick discussion with my brothers, and I made the call. We authorized a feeding tube to be inserted in her.
Her doctor at the home couldn't get the surgeon he usually recommends until Tuesday, so she went the whole weekend without food.
As of yesterday afternoon, they inserted the tube in her stomach. By 10 last night, they started giving her nutrients, water and medication through the peg tube. They're hopeful...as am I...that her strength will return, she'll be able to eat again by mouth, and maybe this will help with other problems she has as well. Her skin is very thin...she bruises really easily...and maybe this will help with that.
Julie keeps asking me if I'm all right with this. With being here and my brothers being there, and taking care of things.
For the most part, I am. I knew a moment like this would occur when I made the decision to move and I don't regret that decision for one second, nor would I do things differently. I want to be with Julie, near her, and live this life.
Still, there's a nagging little voice in the back of my head that wonders...if I was there, would she have recovered quicker? Would this be necessary? Would my presence have made a difference, or is that just ego talking? Is this the inevitable end approaching, and my being there or no...would it make a damn bit of difference?
Silent questions I have no...and will never have...answers for.
All I can do is sit back right now and wait. Make phone calls. Let my brothers handle things. (My oldest brother was at the hospital with her yesterday for the surgery...something I've always been the one to do.)
Deep down I also realize that...because I was in control of The Kid's life for so very long, it's not easy just sitting back and doing, basically, nothing. That's the problem and illusion with control. You feel you need to take charge and handle everything and do it all yourself. When changes come, and you're not the one in control anymore, letting go is incredibly hard.
Accepting this is not easy, but it's something I'm learning to do. It's just another difficult lesson, one of so many I've had to learn.
...
She's getting food now, from the tube. When I know more, I'll share.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The influence of music on a life: My top ten records.
There's been a meme that's been floating around Facebook the past few days about the ten most influential records in your life. Denise and Rene did it, and both of them "tagged" me to get my list.
If only it were that simple.
See, for me, it's been hard to find 10 albums. Now 10 songs, that's MUCH easier. I rarely buy whole albums, preferring to stick with "greatest hits" compilations. That way, I get the songs I like and not the "filler", although I know most artists wouldn't consider songs they've created "filler".
If it's someone I like, someone whose "greatest hits" really touched me, then I'd go out and start finding albums, collecting their works. For the most part, however, I'm more about the song and less about the collection.
That's why some of the "albums" on this list were bought for one specific song. Others are greatest hits collections. Still, these are the tunes that influenced me, one way or another.
Here's my list:
Johnny Horton: The Spectacular Johnny Horton
Johnny Horton made this list less about the album, but more about the first song: Battle of New Orleans.
There was something about this song that I loved. I have memories of me, barely 5 or 6 years old, playing this song over and over and over again. I swear, I'd play that one track 20 times before my mother would tell me to play something else. To this day, if I hear that song (which doesn't have too often), I still smile.
Bill Cosby: Revenge
Johnny Horton's album got overplayed for just one song. Bill Cosby's Revenge was worn out from playing the whole thing over and over and over. I would listen and laugh every time I heard it. It's likely this album is to blame for my love of comedy and spoken word recordings. It came out on CD a few years back, and believe me, I bought it the first day of release.
When I was cleaning out my house back in Pittsburgh, I found the original LP again, thought lost for the past 30 years. It was one of the happiest moments I had during a bittersweet "purging". When I finally get my turntable (and I will, mark my words), this record will be played, bumps, hisses and all...and loved.
Glenn Miller: The Unforgettable Glenn Miller and His Orchestra.
This was the first CD I ever purchased. Yeah, I'm sure that just shocked the crap out of you. The middle of the 80's, the so-called "second wave" of rock, and the first thing I'd grab is something that was popular 40 years before?
If you know me, that should make perfect sense.
I love big band music, and Glenn Miller in particular. (To this day, I list The Glenn Miller Story, starring Jimmy Stewart, as one of my favourite films). There's something so gentle, so romantic and beautiful, about the first few strands of Moonlight Serenade that when I hear it, I can't help but smile.
And yes, I still own this CD.
Andre Rieu: Live in Dublin
This was the first record of Andre Rieu's that I bought, the one that introduced me to his style, and rekindled my love for Strauss waltzes. Once again, bittersweet memories are tied into this record, since it was also one My Kid loves. Listening to it reminds me of good times...and makes me want to dance.
Earl Klugh: The Best of Earl Klugh, Vol. 2
Once again, this is all about one song: Goodtime Charlie's Got the Blues. My favourite song, ever. It centers me. It calms and relaxes me. I will listen to it whenever things get to be too much, and whatever problems I have, fade away. Such is the power of Earl Klugh's guitar.
Billy Joel: An Innocent Man
I know it's not one of his "classic" albums, like Glass Houses or The Stranger (both of which I love), but the songs on this, I just loved. I had this on an LP, until my mother broke it in half in a fit of anger. It was my fault, though: I had failed a couple classes and hid the report card from her. C'est la vie...
Jimmy Buffett: Songs You Know By Heart
I think it's safe to say everyone's heard of Jimmy Buffett's song "Margaritaville". I knew it, but it wasn't until I heard this album that I began to understand the depth of his talent and musical genius. I became a Parrothead that day, and I haven't looked back. Ask Julie, she'll tell you. I usually have Radio Margaritaville on the radio all the time.
Warren Zevon: Genius
I blame Shauna for my love of Zevon. Sure, I'd heard Werewolves of London before, and liked it, but it wasn't until she introduced me to songs like Hasten Down the Wind, Carmelita and Lawyers, Guns and Money that I really understood. His music helped me through some...rough times in my life. The interesting thing, to me at least, was that his music, while sometimes dark and morose, were actually love songs. Guess there is beauty in everything, if you're willing to look for it.
Francis Albert Sinatra: Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits, Vol. II
Once again, I bought this album for just one song. Even in this day and age of digital downloads, iTunes and their crappy compressed media, I would buy this whole album (on CD) for just one song.
Cycles.
I forget when I first heard it, but as soon as I heard it, it stuck with me. The story of a man who's down on his luck but somehow manages to stay upbeat because he knows things happen in cycles: First there's laughter, then those tears.
Yes, the record does have My Way, one of Frank's defining themes (and the song I've long said I wanted played at my funeral), but Cycles was the reason why I bought that record, and it still makes me smile...and always will.
Jackson Browne: The Pretender
Last but certainly not least is this offering from Jackson Browne. There are so many great tunes of his on there (Your Bright Baby Blues, Linda Paloma and Here Comes Those Tears Again), but most importantly is the last track, the title track, The Pretender.
When I first heard it, I knew that was my theme song. Even though I was a kid, still growing up, I knew he was singing about me. There are times I feel like a pretender...someone who has no idea what the Hell he's doing...making it up as I go along.
These are the albums that speak out to me, that have meant something to me. They're part of who I am, part of my soul.
If only it were that simple.
See, for me, it's been hard to find 10 albums. Now 10 songs, that's MUCH easier. I rarely buy whole albums, preferring to stick with "greatest hits" compilations. That way, I get the songs I like and not the "filler", although I know most artists wouldn't consider songs they've created "filler".
If it's someone I like, someone whose "greatest hits" really touched me, then I'd go out and start finding albums, collecting their works. For the most part, however, I'm more about the song and less about the collection.
That's why some of the "albums" on this list were bought for one specific song. Others are greatest hits collections. Still, these are the tunes that influenced me, one way or another.
Here's my list:
Johnny Horton: The Spectacular Johnny Horton
Johnny Horton made this list less about the album, but more about the first song: Battle of New Orleans.
There was something about this song that I loved. I have memories of me, barely 5 or 6 years old, playing this song over and over and over again. I swear, I'd play that one track 20 times before my mother would tell me to play something else. To this day, if I hear that song (which doesn't have too often), I still smile.
Bill Cosby: Revenge
Johnny Horton's album got overplayed for just one song. Bill Cosby's Revenge was worn out from playing the whole thing over and over and over. I would listen and laugh every time I heard it. It's likely this album is to blame for my love of comedy and spoken word recordings. It came out on CD a few years back, and believe me, I bought it the first day of release.
When I was cleaning out my house back in Pittsburgh, I found the original LP again, thought lost for the past 30 years. It was one of the happiest moments I had during a bittersweet "purging". When I finally get my turntable (and I will, mark my words), this record will be played, bumps, hisses and all...and loved.
Glenn Miller: The Unforgettable Glenn Miller and His Orchestra.
This was the first CD I ever purchased. Yeah, I'm sure that just shocked the crap out of you. The middle of the 80's, the so-called "second wave" of rock, and the first thing I'd grab is something that was popular 40 years before?
If you know me, that should make perfect sense.
I love big band music, and Glenn Miller in particular. (To this day, I list The Glenn Miller Story, starring Jimmy Stewart, as one of my favourite films). There's something so gentle, so romantic and beautiful, about the first few strands of Moonlight Serenade that when I hear it, I can't help but smile.
And yes, I still own this CD.
Andre Rieu: Live in Dublin
This was the first record of Andre Rieu's that I bought, the one that introduced me to his style, and rekindled my love for Strauss waltzes. Once again, bittersweet memories are tied into this record, since it was also one My Kid loves. Listening to it reminds me of good times...and makes me want to dance.
Earl Klugh: The Best of Earl Klugh, Vol. 2
Once again, this is all about one song: Goodtime Charlie's Got the Blues. My favourite song, ever. It centers me. It calms and relaxes me. I will listen to it whenever things get to be too much, and whatever problems I have, fade away. Such is the power of Earl Klugh's guitar.
Billy Joel: An Innocent Man
I know it's not one of his "classic" albums, like Glass Houses or The Stranger (both of which I love), but the songs on this, I just loved. I had this on an LP, until my mother broke it in half in a fit of anger. It was my fault, though: I had failed a couple classes and hid the report card from her. C'est la vie...
Jimmy Buffett: Songs You Know By Heart
I think it's safe to say everyone's heard of Jimmy Buffett's song "Margaritaville". I knew it, but it wasn't until I heard this album that I began to understand the depth of his talent and musical genius. I became a Parrothead that day, and I haven't looked back. Ask Julie, she'll tell you. I usually have Radio Margaritaville on the radio all the time.
Warren Zevon: Genius
I blame Shauna for my love of Zevon. Sure, I'd heard Werewolves of London before, and liked it, but it wasn't until she introduced me to songs like Hasten Down the Wind, Carmelita and Lawyers, Guns and Money that I really understood. His music helped me through some...rough times in my life. The interesting thing, to me at least, was that his music, while sometimes dark and morose, were actually love songs. Guess there is beauty in everything, if you're willing to look for it.
Francis Albert Sinatra: Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits, Vol. II
Once again, I bought this album for just one song. Even in this day and age of digital downloads, iTunes and their crappy compressed media, I would buy this whole album (on CD) for just one song.
Cycles.
I forget when I first heard it, but as soon as I heard it, it stuck with me. The story of a man who's down on his luck but somehow manages to stay upbeat because he knows things happen in cycles: First there's laughter, then those tears.
Yes, the record does have My Way, one of Frank's defining themes (and the song I've long said I wanted played at my funeral), but Cycles was the reason why I bought that record, and it still makes me smile...and always will.
Jackson Browne: The Pretender
Last but certainly not least is this offering from Jackson Browne. There are so many great tunes of his on there (Your Bright Baby Blues, Linda Paloma and Here Comes Those Tears Again), but most importantly is the last track, the title track, The Pretender.
When I first heard it, I knew that was my theme song. Even though I was a kid, still growing up, I knew he was singing about me. There are times I feel like a pretender...someone who has no idea what the Hell he's doing...making it up as I go along.
These are the albums that speak out to me, that have meant something to me. They're part of who I am, part of my soul.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Rumblings from below
Warning! This entry is rather graphic and not for the faint of heart, stomach or constitution.
There was a time I liked to eat.
Actually, that time was just a few days ago.
Nowadays, eating isn't something I've done much of these past few days.
Tuesday night, I couldn't sleep. I laid in bed, half-awake, half-asleep, listening to ping-pong sized bubbles tell me I've been poisoned and I needed to get up to get the medicine I needed to save my sorry ass.
Finally, after ignoring the balls until about 3 in the morning, I got up and got some Pepto...then proceeded to not only void my bowels but also puke, both through the mouth and the nose.
Figuring I got it all out of my system, I went to bed. Woke up around 6 that morning, and puked some more, with enough force to cover the whole sink. Thank goodness my new place has a disposal in the sink and a hose to clean up easier.
Since then, I've had a hard time keeping things in. Thankfully, it's not coming up anymore, but it comes out the bottom a lot.
Last night, I was sitting at the table with Julie, and it sounded like I was ready to explode. My body was making more rumblings than a volcano ready to explode.
I think she was afraid she was going to have to clean up the mess if I did blow up. Thankfully, she didn't have to...I waited until I got home before I exploded.
As I type this, it's dinner time. Julie has made pork chops for dinner, and they taste amazing. I just hope I can hold onto them for a little while...
There was a time I liked to eat.
Actually, that time was just a few days ago.
Nowadays, eating isn't something I've done much of these past few days.
Tuesday night, I couldn't sleep. I laid in bed, half-awake, half-asleep, listening to ping-pong sized bubbles tell me I've been poisoned and I needed to get up to get the medicine I needed to save my sorry ass.
Finally, after ignoring the balls until about 3 in the morning, I got up and got some Pepto...then proceeded to not only void my bowels but also puke, both through the mouth and the nose.
Figuring I got it all out of my system, I went to bed. Woke up around 6 that morning, and puked some more, with enough force to cover the whole sink. Thank goodness my new place has a disposal in the sink and a hose to clean up easier.
Since then, I've had a hard time keeping things in. Thankfully, it's not coming up anymore, but it comes out the bottom a lot.
Last night, I was sitting at the table with Julie, and it sounded like I was ready to explode. My body was making more rumblings than a volcano ready to explode.
I think she was afraid she was going to have to clean up the mess if I did blow up. Thankfully, she didn't have to...I waited until I got home before I exploded.
As I type this, it's dinner time. Julie has made pork chops for dinner, and they taste amazing. I just hope I can hold onto them for a little while...
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Sunday evening musings
For some reason, I'm compelled to tell you, gentle reader, that I'm writing this over at Julie's place, using her laptop. Doesn't matter much...but it makes me think I'm some sort of correspondent reporting from another country or something.
My love is sitting across from me, picking at tags. She bought a Chinese Take-Out style carton filled with little word tags the other day, and she's going through it, looking for words for some reason or another.
We'd been frequenting hobby stores the past few weeks, getting things together for Jessica's baby shower. So many things, from the invitations to the gift packages to the thank you cards, are all handmade. I've been genuinely impressed with the level of creativity they've put into this...it's very impressive, but the stress of planning and preparing for this shower has been getting to Julie.
Right now, there's over 70 confirmed people coming. It's going to be fucking huge, and it's in less than two weeks.
Her back's killing her, and I'm pretty sure it's from stress about the party. I'm doing everything I can to help, whether it be creative or supportive or just running around.
Not working isn't helping. I decided...I'm not talking about that anymore here. When I get a job, I will tell you, but until then, the only people who'll know about my job search will be me and her. Forgive me for not posting details, but after the last couple near misses...I'm becoming superstitious. I'm not gonna jinx myself. I'm not saying anything until I spend my first day at work...maybe after my first week.
I promise I'll tell y'all after the fact, but that's about it.
It was nice out here this weekend. Temperatures were above freezing (way above), and the snow's quickly disappearing. Julie and I took a little road trip down to St. Charles yesterday, looking for things for the party, and it was nice to get on the road.
We're driving around, and she tells me to keep my eyes open for hobby, arts and crafts stores, scrapbooking stores, and a place called Hobbity Lobbity. I'm looking at all the stores, scanning everything, not seeing it when she screams "HOBBITY LOBBITY!"
I'm looking, but I ain't seeing.
A quick lane change and turn into a shopping center later, and I see...Hobby Lobby. I point this out to my love, and she insists it's "Hobbity Lobbity".
...
Being from Pennsylvania, I understand adding a consonant or two to a word. Given that we have such wonderful words like "Allegheny", "Monongahela" and "Connequessing" in our vocabulary, it's understandable that extra syllables just magically appear in our words.
HOWEVER...
We don't add "ity" to our words at random.
I love this woman with all my heart, but there are moments when I have a very hard time trying to understand her...
My love is sitting across from me, picking at tags. She bought a Chinese Take-Out style carton filled with little word tags the other day, and she's going through it, looking for words for some reason or another.
We'd been frequenting hobby stores the past few weeks, getting things together for Jessica's baby shower. So many things, from the invitations to the gift packages to the thank you cards, are all handmade. I've been genuinely impressed with the level of creativity they've put into this...it's very impressive, but the stress of planning and preparing for this shower has been getting to Julie.
Right now, there's over 70 confirmed people coming. It's going to be fucking huge, and it's in less than two weeks.
Her back's killing her, and I'm pretty sure it's from stress about the party. I'm doing everything I can to help, whether it be creative or supportive or just running around.
Not working isn't helping. I decided...I'm not talking about that anymore here. When I get a job, I will tell you, but until then, the only people who'll know about my job search will be me and her. Forgive me for not posting details, but after the last couple near misses...I'm becoming superstitious. I'm not gonna jinx myself. I'm not saying anything until I spend my first day at work...maybe after my first week.
I promise I'll tell y'all after the fact, but that's about it.
It was nice out here this weekend. Temperatures were above freezing (way above), and the snow's quickly disappearing. Julie and I took a little road trip down to St. Charles yesterday, looking for things for the party, and it was nice to get on the road.
We're driving around, and she tells me to keep my eyes open for hobby, arts and crafts stores, scrapbooking stores, and a place called Hobbity Lobbity. I'm looking at all the stores, scanning everything, not seeing it when she screams "HOBBITY LOBBITY!"
I'm looking, but I ain't seeing.
A quick lane change and turn into a shopping center later, and I see...Hobby Lobby. I point this out to my love, and she insists it's "Hobbity Lobbity".
...
Being from Pennsylvania, I understand adding a consonant or two to a word. Given that we have such wonderful words like "Allegheny", "Monongahela" and "Connequessing" in our vocabulary, it's understandable that extra syllables just magically appear in our words.
HOWEVER...
We don't add "ity" to our words at random.
I love this woman with all my heart, but there are moments when I have a very hard time trying to understand her...
Monday, February 02, 2009
If the groundhog sees his shadow, does that mean I go six more weeks without a job?
Hm. It's February already.
Time flies, as they say.
I'm sitting in my home office, listening to John Mayer live in concert and sipping chai in-between moments of fingers typing on a keyboard. It's about 12 degrees outside, but the wind makes it feel much colder...at least, it felt colder than that when I walked home from Julie's a bit ago.
Hence the chai and the nice, heavy bathrobe I've got on.
It's been awhile since I've entered the blogosphere, either as an author or as a reader. I'd like to say it's because I've been so busy, but really, it's because I've had nothing new to say.
My days are spent looking at job websites, sending off resumes and applications and not hearing anything in return save for the form response which is automatically generated. I'd like to think that, somewhere in the vast chasm that is the working world, a human being actually sees my resume and hits the "send" button on that response form, but being the geek that I am, I know better.
Still, I keep trying. Application after application for everything and anything. Over the past few months, I've applied for every desktop support job I could find, but also such diverse positions as:
It's extremely frustrating and depressing. You get to a point when you begin to question your self-worth. You wonder...am I truly such a horrible person that I can't get a job brewing coffee in a coffee shop?
It's a good thing the chai's the strongest thing I imbibe. If I were a drinking man, I'd long ago have crawled in the bottle and pulled the stopper in behind me.
Thank God for Julie.
She is a wonderful, amazing woman. She's been patient and understanding with me. She knows I'm trying. She's got her own problems, and yet she still finds time to worry about me.
I'm not used to that. I'm used to be the one who's had to carry the burden of the worries, and I wish she'd let me carry some of her burdens, some of her worries, like she carries mine. I've got two big shoulders and a strong back.
It's not easy for her, I can relate. Being the one to have to take care of things for so long by yourself, to all of a sudden have someone else who not only understands but wants to help...
heh
We're alike in many ways. I can understand and respect her wanting to take care of things, and I know she feels the same. All I can do is wait, and give her the time she needs to be able to let me help hold her up like she's been holding me up.
I would do anything for her, give her whatever she wants...even if it's just something simple like a peanut butter and jelly sammich.
The day will come when we won't have so many worries between us. I firmly believe this. All I can do is assure her that, when that day arrives, we'll see it together.
For now...tomorrow's another day...and I'll go back to looking for that job I just can't seem to find...
I love you, baby. I love you with all my heart.
Time flies, as they say.
I'm sitting in my home office, listening to John Mayer live in concert and sipping chai in-between moments of fingers typing on a keyboard. It's about 12 degrees outside, but the wind makes it feel much colder...at least, it felt colder than that when I walked home from Julie's a bit ago.
Hence the chai and the nice, heavy bathrobe I've got on.
It's been awhile since I've entered the blogosphere, either as an author or as a reader. I'd like to say it's because I've been so busy, but really, it's because I've had nothing new to say.
My days are spent looking at job websites, sending off resumes and applications and not hearing anything in return save for the form response which is automatically generated. I'd like to think that, somewhere in the vast chasm that is the working world, a human being actually sees my resume and hits the "send" button on that response form, but being the geek that I am, I know better.
Still, I keep trying. Application after application for everything and anything. Over the past few months, I've applied for every desktop support job I could find, but also such diverse positions as:
- School bus driver (they had me in for an interview, but then they never returned my calls)
- Dishwasher for a hospital (they sent me a letter saying that my credentials are impressive, but I'm not what they're looking for right now)
- Delivery driver
- Field utility marker (someone who goes out and puts the gas line signs out in the middle of nowhere, so construction crews know exactly where to dig)
- Stockroom worker
It's extremely frustrating and depressing. You get to a point when you begin to question your self-worth. You wonder...am I truly such a horrible person that I can't get a job brewing coffee in a coffee shop?
It's a good thing the chai's the strongest thing I imbibe. If I were a drinking man, I'd long ago have crawled in the bottle and pulled the stopper in behind me.
Thank God for Julie.
She is a wonderful, amazing woman. She's been patient and understanding with me. She knows I'm trying. She's got her own problems, and yet she still finds time to worry about me.
I'm not used to that. I'm used to be the one who's had to carry the burden of the worries, and I wish she'd let me carry some of her burdens, some of her worries, like she carries mine. I've got two big shoulders and a strong back.
It's not easy for her, I can relate. Being the one to have to take care of things for so long by yourself, to all of a sudden have someone else who not only understands but wants to help...
heh
We're alike in many ways. I can understand and respect her wanting to take care of things, and I know she feels the same. All I can do is wait, and give her the time she needs to be able to let me help hold her up like she's been holding me up.
I would do anything for her, give her whatever she wants...even if it's just something simple like a peanut butter and jelly sammich.
The day will come when we won't have so many worries between us. I firmly believe this. All I can do is assure her that, when that day arrives, we'll see it together.
For now...tomorrow's another day...and I'll go back to looking for that job I just can't seem to find...
I love you, baby. I love you with all my heart.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I didn't watch it then, and I ain't gonna watch it now.
The Pittsburgh Steelers won the AFC Championship tonight, meaning they're going to the Super Bowl.
This is about the only time you'll see these words from me, but...Thank God I don't live in Pittsburgh anymore.
Why, you ask? It's simple. For the next two weeks, that's all they're gonna talk about. The Steelers. Going to the Super Bowl. It's an obsession, and an unhealthy one at that.
It's worse than my love's addiction to Carmex.
A few years back, the last time the Steelers went to the Super Bowl, I wrote the following at my previous blog. I figured I'd reprint it here, since it was a good piece, and its as fitting today as it was three years ago.
Let's get this out of the way right now.
No, I didn't watch the game.
No, I didn't see Incredible Play "A", Defensive Play "B", or Heart-Stopping Play "C".
No, I won't be watching the Super Bowl.
No, I don't like football.
Now, it might seem a bit strange to open a rant with these statements, but to help put things into perspective, here's a little background information.
I'm a 38-year old, single straight guy. Normally, that's enough to make people wonder, since it seems EVERY man likes football.
What makes it worse is that I live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and around here, everything else (including God, it seems,) comes a close second to football.
This area has an unhealthy obsession with football in general,and the Steelers in particular. It amazes me to no end how deep their fanaticism over the sport runs.
Personally, I find football dull and boring. I don't watch it at home, and if I happen to be somewhere where the game is on, I usually fall asleep.
And yet, I've had strangers stop me and tell me the score, without me asking, without me appearing to even give a damn.
People around here look at you funny if you say "I didn't watch the game". Heavens forbid they learn you don't actually like football.
What makes matters worse is that, for the next two-plus weeks, that's all anyone will talk about, because the Steelers are going to be playing in the Super Bowl.
That's all they will talk about...on the radio, in the newspaper. I won't be watching a local news broadcast for the next three weeks, for fear of having to watch some vapid "report" by the idiot newsreader, as they waste at least half the show going over the same "story" they've said already.
Wait. That's normal for local news. I forgot.
No, these so-called "reporters", with their perfect hair, phony smiles and fat asses from sitting behind a desk and reading the "news" will be shoving the Steelers down my throat until I'm ready to vomit.
But what will be worse are the rabid fans who say "we're" going to the Super Bowl. Listen, bunkie, you're not on the team. You're not on the coaching staff. You're not even close to "going". You're gonna sit at home in your la-z-boy recliner or go the bar, stuff cheese balls in your fat face, drink far, far too much beer, and think that you've "made it to the Super Bowl" along with every other deluded soul.
Now, before the hate mail starts pouring in, let me say that I'm happy they've done so well, and they've made it to "the big dance". I'm sure it'll be great for the morale of the city, especially in the bleakest part of what is passing for Winter this year.
Pittsburgh is the second most overcast city in the US (ironically, the most overcast city is Seattle, who the Steelers appear to be facing in the Super Bowl), and whatever little bit of light that can brighten an otherwise gray day here, well, if it makes Joe Steeler Fan happy, then that's all right.
Just don't feel the need to shove your rabid devotion to a sport I care nothing about in my general direction.
I love baseball. I enjoy hockey. I've watched the Pirates and the Penguins, the other two major league franchises in this city, get the shaft from the fair weather Pittsburgh fans because they've sucked royally for the past 10-15 years.
It still amazed me last year, when the Pirates were one game under .500...an amazing feat in and of itself...that the local sports broadcasts spent all their time fussing over the beginning of Steelers Training Camp.
Training Camp. Not a game, but practice. The concept boggles the mind.
I've said before that Pittsburgh is stuck in the 1970's, and football is part of that. In the 70's, when I was growing up, the Steelers were the best thing in football, bar none. They won four Super Bowls, their defense was rated as "supreme", and they were loved by everyone.
Everyone but me, that is. Even as a kid, I didn't like football.
Actually, if the Steelers win the Super Bowl, it might actually help this region realize we're now in the 21st Century. With "one for the thumb" (a phrase I've heard for far too many years, which really they should change, since the players from the 1970s are long since retired from the game), the region might be able to finally realize that, just as Fox has canceled "That 70's Show", we're past that decade.
Of course, I won't be watching the Super Bowl, so before you get the idea that you're coming to my house to watch "the big game" on my widescreen, high-definition TV, forget it now.
I won't be watching the game.
This is about the only time you'll see these words from me, but...Thank God I don't live in Pittsburgh anymore.
Why, you ask? It's simple. For the next two weeks, that's all they're gonna talk about. The Steelers. Going to the Super Bowl. It's an obsession, and an unhealthy one at that.
It's worse than my love's addiction to Carmex.
A few years back, the last time the Steelers went to the Super Bowl, I wrote the following at my previous blog. I figured I'd reprint it here, since it was a good piece, and its as fitting today as it was three years ago.
---------------------------
Let's get this out of the way right now.
No, I didn't watch the game.
No, I didn't see Incredible Play "A", Defensive Play "B", or Heart-Stopping Play "C".
No, I won't be watching the Super Bowl.
No, I don't like football.
Now, it might seem a bit strange to open a rant with these statements, but to help put things into perspective, here's a little background information.
I'm a 38-year old, single straight guy. Normally, that's enough to make people wonder, since it seems EVERY man likes football.
What makes it worse is that I live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and around here, everything else (including God, it seems,) comes a close second to football.
This area has an unhealthy obsession with football in general,and the Steelers in particular. It amazes me to no end how deep their fanaticism over the sport runs.
Personally, I find football dull and boring. I don't watch it at home, and if I happen to be somewhere where the game is on, I usually fall asleep.
And yet, I've had strangers stop me and tell me the score, without me asking, without me appearing to even give a damn.
People around here look at you funny if you say "I didn't watch the game". Heavens forbid they learn you don't actually like football.
What makes matters worse is that, for the next two-plus weeks, that's all anyone will talk about, because the Steelers are going to be playing in the Super Bowl.
That's all they will talk about...on the radio, in the newspaper. I won't be watching a local news broadcast for the next three weeks, for fear of having to watch some vapid "report" by the idiot newsreader, as they waste at least half the show going over the same "story" they've said already.
Wait. That's normal for local news. I forgot.
No, these so-called "reporters", with their perfect hair, phony smiles and fat asses from sitting behind a desk and reading the "news" will be shoving the Steelers down my throat until I'm ready to vomit.
But what will be worse are the rabid fans who say "we're" going to the Super Bowl. Listen, bunkie, you're not on the team. You're not on the coaching staff. You're not even close to "going". You're gonna sit at home in your la-z-boy recliner or go the bar, stuff cheese balls in your fat face, drink far, far too much beer, and think that you've "made it to the Super Bowl" along with every other deluded soul.
Now, before the hate mail starts pouring in, let me say that I'm happy they've done so well, and they've made it to "the big dance". I'm sure it'll be great for the morale of the city, especially in the bleakest part of what is passing for Winter this year.
Pittsburgh is the second most overcast city in the US (ironically, the most overcast city is Seattle, who the Steelers appear to be facing in the Super Bowl), and whatever little bit of light that can brighten an otherwise gray day here, well, if it makes Joe Steeler Fan happy, then that's all right.
Just don't feel the need to shove your rabid devotion to a sport I care nothing about in my general direction.
I love baseball. I enjoy hockey. I've watched the Pirates and the Penguins, the other two major league franchises in this city, get the shaft from the fair weather Pittsburgh fans because they've sucked royally for the past 10-15 years.
It still amazed me last year, when the Pirates were one game under .500...an amazing feat in and of itself...that the local sports broadcasts spent all their time fussing over the beginning of Steelers Training Camp.
Training Camp. Not a game, but practice. The concept boggles the mind.
I've said before that Pittsburgh is stuck in the 1970's, and football is part of that. In the 70's, when I was growing up, the Steelers were the best thing in football, bar none. They won four Super Bowls, their defense was rated as "supreme", and they were loved by everyone.
Everyone but me, that is. Even as a kid, I didn't like football.
Actually, if the Steelers win the Super Bowl, it might actually help this region realize we're now in the 21st Century. With "one for the thumb" (a phrase I've heard for far too many years, which really they should change, since the players from the 1970s are long since retired from the game), the region might be able to finally realize that, just as Fox has canceled "That 70's Show", we're past that decade.
Of course, I won't be watching the Super Bowl, so before you get the idea that you're coming to my house to watch "the big game" on my widescreen, high-definition TV, forget it now.
I won't be watching the game.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Waiting for my real life to begin
I have this really excellent album by Colin Hay called Man @ Work. If that seems like an interesting title, it's because, if you weren't sure, Colin Hay was/is the lead singer of Men At Work, and this album, released in 2003, features acoustic revisitations of some of Men At Work's biggest hits, along with some of his solo tunes.
The music is simply beautiful. Acoustic, solo variations of established hits can be hit or miss, but this album knocks them out of the park.
One music website I frequent posted the acoustic version of "Overkill", and I fell in love with it immediately. Because of that track, I began a search for the album, off and on, until I found it in the Barnes and Noble here in DeKalb a few months back.
(Yes, I know, I could have ordered it online, or...heavens help us all...bought it as a digital download, but really, it's far more satisfying to find it in the stores. It's like you're finding hidden treasure, buried away, just waiting for you to discover. And yes, before you ask, I know I'm crazy, but I've found that I'm cool with it.)
So, I've been sitting here, enjoying the album this afternoon. One of the tracks I've come to identify with on a personal level: Waiting For My Real Life to Begin. It resonates a chord within me on so many levels...it just makes me smile when I hear it.
It's possible that within a few days, I'll hear about a new job, a new direction...somewhat unexpected and something completely different for me. It's not a guarantee, although someone in the know tells me I've got it. I've become more than cautious when it comes to things like this, I've become downright paranoid and negative. Until I know for sure, I ain't saying anything else.
So until I know for sure...well, here's to Waiting for My Real Life to Begin.
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Waiting for My Real Life to Begin (Re-Release) - Colin Hay
The music is simply beautiful. Acoustic, solo variations of established hits can be hit or miss, but this album knocks them out of the park.
One music website I frequent posted the acoustic version of "Overkill", and I fell in love with it immediately. Because of that track, I began a search for the album, off and on, until I found it in the Barnes and Noble here in DeKalb a few months back.
(Yes, I know, I could have ordered it online, or...heavens help us all...bought it as a digital download, but really, it's far more satisfying to find it in the stores. It's like you're finding hidden treasure, buried away, just waiting for you to discover. And yes, before you ask, I know I'm crazy, but I've found that I'm cool with it.)
So, I've been sitting here, enjoying the album this afternoon. One of the tracks I've come to identify with on a personal level: Waiting For My Real Life to Begin. It resonates a chord within me on so many levels...it just makes me smile when I hear it.
It's possible that within a few days, I'll hear about a new job, a new direction...somewhat unexpected and something completely different for me. It's not a guarantee, although someone in the know tells me I've got it. I've become more than cautious when it comes to things like this, I've become downright paranoid and negative. Until I know for sure, I ain't saying anything else.
So until I know for sure...well, here's to Waiting for My Real Life to Begin.
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Waiting for My Real Life to Begin (Re-Release) - Colin Hay
Sunday, January 11, 2009
How many "w's" were there again?
Yeah, still nothing new, but this was too funny not to share.
For those of us here in the 'states, you've no doubt heard about the upcoming clusterfuck when television stations are going to convert from analog to digital.
Seriously, it's gonna be bad for some people. For folks out there who have cable or satellite, it's not gonna be an issue, since their provider will switch them over with no problem. For those unfortunate few still getting their signal from old-style "rabbit ears" or an antenna mounted on the side of the house that looks like you could broadcast your own station (don't laugh...I've seen more than my fair share of those in my day), they've got a big problem to look forward to.
Seriously, even the incoming Obama administration is suggesting they postpone the switch, because (from what I've read) the current administration has done nothing to help get folks ready. (Mind you, that shouldn't come as a surprise: Clusterfuck and the Bush administration are two terms that go hand in hand.)
Check out this parody of the infomercials that have been appearing about the switch. Remember, it's just a parody...but when the FCC chief saw this at CES this weekend, he wasn't laughing.
Not that there's anything really worth watching anymore, but if some blue hair with rabbit ears can't see her CSI or Oprah, Hell will be raised.
For those of us here in the 'states, you've no doubt heard about the upcoming clusterfuck when television stations are going to convert from analog to digital.
Seriously, it's gonna be bad for some people. For folks out there who have cable or satellite, it's not gonna be an issue, since their provider will switch them over with no problem. For those unfortunate few still getting their signal from old-style "rabbit ears" or an antenna mounted on the side of the house that looks like you could broadcast your own station (don't laugh...I've seen more than my fair share of those in my day), they've got a big problem to look forward to.
Seriously, even the incoming Obama administration is suggesting they postpone the switch, because (from what I've read) the current administration has done nothing to help get folks ready. (Mind you, that shouldn't come as a surprise: Clusterfuck and the Bush administration are two terms that go hand in hand.)
Check out this parody of the infomercials that have been appearing about the switch. Remember, it's just a parody...but when the FCC chief saw this at CES this weekend, he wasn't laughing.
Not that there's anything really worth watching anymore, but if some blue hair with rabbit ears can't see her CSI or Oprah, Hell will be raised.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Will we call next year 0-10?
Happy 2009!
Okay, okay, okay. I know some of you have been waiting (im)patiently for an update of some sort, and I've been very quiet.
I was at a group interview session this past Monday with a major Cable company (no names, but take three guesses, and the first two don't count) which lasted about half a day.
Initially, they said there were some 170 applicants for the IP Support position. There were roughly 30 of us there for a class of 14 openings. I'd like to think my odds were good, but it's been almost a week, and I haven't heard anything yet.
I've heard said that "no news is good news", but the longer I have to wait, the worse the chances look. The only thing I can hope is that they've tried to contact my former employer to verify I worked there, but they were closed until Friday. If they needed that...
Sigh.
I've been very bad in keeping up correspondence as of late. For that, forgive me. I dunno if it's a funk I've been in, or it's just that I've been enjoying spending time with Julie, but I haven't sent e-mails or checked blogs, and I've got people I should write. I'm sorry. I'm hoping the new year will bring work, and maybe...
When I hear something, anything, I'll let y'all know. Promise.
Okay, okay, okay. I know some of you have been waiting (im)patiently for an update of some sort, and I've been very quiet.
I was at a group interview session this past Monday with a major Cable company (no names, but take three guesses, and the first two don't count) which lasted about half a day.
Initially, they said there were some 170 applicants for the IP Support position. There were roughly 30 of us there for a class of 14 openings. I'd like to think my odds were good, but it's been almost a week, and I haven't heard anything yet.
I've heard said that "no news is good news", but the longer I have to wait, the worse the chances look. The only thing I can hope is that they've tried to contact my former employer to verify I worked there, but they were closed until Friday. If they needed that...
Sigh.
I've been very bad in keeping up correspondence as of late. For that, forgive me. I dunno if it's a funk I've been in, or it's just that I've been enjoying spending time with Julie, but I haven't sent e-mails or checked blogs, and I've got people I should write. I'm sorry. I'm hoping the new year will bring work, and maybe...
When I hear something, anything, I'll let y'all know. Promise.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Better late than never, I suppose
I was offline most of today, so I couldn't say this until now.
Merry Christmas, my friends.
I hope today was a good one for you.
Merry Christmas, my friends.
I hope today was a good one for you.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Kinda/sorta 2008 meme in review
I borrowed this from my dear friend Charlotte's Facebook page.
Decided this was better in the blog here than over there...
Did you get a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I got all I could ever wish for in the woman I love.
Did you make a new friend?
One or two... ;)
Did you get into a physical fight with anyone?
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Did you go to a funeral or wedding?
Both, actually.
Get so drunk that you passed out?
I don't drink, therefore, I don't get drunk. I did get so exhausted I sounded like I was drunk, however.
Lost your voice?
Much to a few's regret, no.
Had someone tell you that they liked/loved you?
Every day.
How has '08 been so far?
A year of major changes in my life.
How old do you want to be when you die?
I'm too busy living and enjoying my life right now to think about that.
How do you feel about love songs?
They're fine in their place. I've been known to sing a few of them in my time.
Who was the last person to call you?
Jessica called me ten minutes after I dropped her mom off at work, asking if she was still with me.
Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/bathtub?
Neither, but I was always good at catching Prosey in the bath (Don't tell Rene!)
Where's the person you miss most?
Next question.
Do you just want to yell in someones face right now?
Nope.
Was today a good day?
It'll be better when I can go pick Julie after work.
Whats wrong right now?
My head is itchy. Oh, that whole "no job" thing as well.
What are your plans for this weekend?
Spend time with Julie when she doesn't have to work.
Are you dating the last person you kissed?
I went so far as to ask her to marry me. ;)
Do you still play in the snow?
Does shoveling Julie's driveway and sidewalk count?
Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only my angel.
Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to?
There is someone whom I will always care for as a friend, but nothing more than that.
Would you forgive a cheater?
Define "cheater".
Are you mean?
I believe we can all be mean in our own way, if we need to be, or when we choose to be.
Whos the first person in your contacts list in your phone?
Aw, damn. My phone's all the way at the other end of the table. I am not getting up to get it just to check. Probably something stupid like "*now*" or some shit like that...
Does it matter when your friends bring up your past mistakes?
Nope, 'cause I'd do the same for them!
Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
Heh. You were obviously listening to me singing "Waterloo", weren't you?
When was the last time you stayed up all night on the phone?
April 13-14, 2008, and it wasn't on the phone, it was an IM chat with a certain someone...
Do you curse a lot?
Fuckin' A! Hell Yeah, you sonofabitch!
Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
Hmm...nah. I'd be too cold. (I leave the details of how I look to your imagination, dear reader. Please don't puke over the thought.)
What are you listening to?
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio. Channel 35, Holly. Jim Brickman's Christmas Is, to be specific.
Where did you begin 2008?
Jonesboro, AR, with a dear friend (whom I fear I've lost).
What was your status by Valentines Day?
Single, content to be alone for the rest of my life. (HA!)
Were you in school anytime this year?
Funny thing is, I worked for a school for part of this year...
Did you have to go to the hospital?
For myself? Thank God, no. No work means no insurance.
I went there for The Kid, however.
Did you have any encounters with the police?
Only counting the number of state troopers on the Ohio Turnpike on my numerous trips to DeKalb.
Where did you go on vacation?
One should have a job to consider it a true "vacation", but I like the weekend getaways Julie and I had this year, to Toledo and to Lake Geneva.
Did you know anybody who got married?
Yeppers.
Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes, God rest their souls.
Did you move anywhere?
BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! Oh, that was funny.
If you don't know the answer, I don't know what fuckin' blog you've been reading...
What concerts/shows did you go to?
Well, we saw the Madrigals this past weekend.
Describe your birthday:
Spent it with the woman I love.
What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008?
Get fired. Fall in love. Leave Pittsburgh.
What have been your favorite moments?
Holding Julie.
Any new additions to your family?
Yeah, I kinda joined one...
What was your best month?
Stick with the one that was the worst. March. Since then, they've all been better.
Made new friends?
Didn't you already ask me that? What? Are you getting senile or deaf?
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
DeKalb, Illinois.
Have you lost any friends this year?
Yeah. Lost one good one, and I understand why.
Change your hairstyle?
No, but for the first time in nearly 25 years, someone else cut it...
Have any car accidents?
Thank God, no, and let's hope it stays that way.
How old did/do you turn this year?
41
Do you have a New Years resolution?
Find a job, love Julie with all my heart, and not fail.
Do anything embarrassing?
Feh. This is ME, remember? When haven't I done something that's not embarrassing...
Buy anything new from eBay?
eBay is eVil. I avoid it like the plague. Now, if you asked me about Amazon, Newegg, Fry's...we can talk.
Get married or divorced?
Got engaged. Marriage will come in 2011.
Get arrested?
Nope, but I've got another 8 days to go this year. Let's see if I can make it to 2009 safely.
Did you get sick this year?
A mild bug here or there. Nothing major.
Are you happy to see 2008 go?
On one hand, yeah. Losing my job for such a stupid reason still kinda hangs heavy in the back of my mind. But if I hadn't, I'd never have met Julie or started living my life for me. I'll just say "it is what it is" and leave it at that.
Been naughty or nice?
Yes.
What are you looking forward to most in 2009?
Curtis' birth, for now. After that...let's see what happens. ;)
Decided this was better in the blog here than over there...
Did you get a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I got all I could ever wish for in the woman I love.
Did you make a new friend?
One or two... ;)
Did you get into a physical fight with anyone?
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Did you go to a funeral or wedding?
Both, actually.
Get so drunk that you passed out?
I don't drink, therefore, I don't get drunk. I did get so exhausted I sounded like I was drunk, however.
Lost your voice?
Much to a few's regret, no.
Had someone tell you that they liked/loved you?
Every day.
How has '08 been so far?
A year of major changes in my life.
How old do you want to be when you die?
I'm too busy living and enjoying my life right now to think about that.
How do you feel about love songs?
They're fine in their place. I've been known to sing a few of them in my time.
Who was the last person to call you?
Jessica called me ten minutes after I dropped her mom off at work, asking if she was still with me.
Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/bathtub?
Neither, but I was always good at catching Prosey in the bath (Don't tell Rene!)
Where's the person you miss most?
Next question.
Do you just want to yell in someones face right now?
Nope.
Was today a good day?
It'll be better when I can go pick Julie after work.
Whats wrong right now?
My head is itchy. Oh, that whole "no job" thing as well.
What are your plans for this weekend?
Spend time with Julie when she doesn't have to work.
Are you dating the last person you kissed?
I went so far as to ask her to marry me. ;)
Do you still play in the snow?
Does shoveling Julie's driveway and sidewalk count?
Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only my angel.
Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to?
There is someone whom I will always care for as a friend, but nothing more than that.
Would you forgive a cheater?
Define "cheater".
Are you mean?
I believe we can all be mean in our own way, if we need to be, or when we choose to be.
Whos the first person in your contacts list in your phone?
Aw, damn. My phone's all the way at the other end of the table. I am not getting up to get it just to check. Probably something stupid like "*now*" or some shit like that...
Does it matter when your friends bring up your past mistakes?
Nope, 'cause I'd do the same for them!
Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
Heh. You were obviously listening to me singing "Waterloo", weren't you?
When was the last time you stayed up all night on the phone?
April 13-14, 2008, and it wasn't on the phone, it was an IM chat with a certain someone...
Do you curse a lot?
Fuckin' A! Hell Yeah, you sonofabitch!
Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
Hmm...nah. I'd be too cold. (I leave the details of how I look to your imagination, dear reader. Please don't puke over the thought.)
What are you listening to?
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio. Channel 35, Holly. Jim Brickman's Christmas Is, to be specific.
Where did you begin 2008?
Jonesboro, AR, with a dear friend (whom I fear I've lost).
What was your status by Valentines Day?
Single, content to be alone for the rest of my life. (HA!)
Were you in school anytime this year?
Funny thing is, I worked for a school for part of this year...
Did you have to go to the hospital?
For myself? Thank God, no. No work means no insurance.
I went there for The Kid, however.
Did you have any encounters with the police?
Only counting the number of state troopers on the Ohio Turnpike on my numerous trips to DeKalb.
Where did you go on vacation?
One should have a job to consider it a true "vacation", but I like the weekend getaways Julie and I had this year, to Toledo and to Lake Geneva.
Did you know anybody who got married?
Yeppers.
Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes, God rest their souls.
Did you move anywhere?
BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! Oh, that was funny.
If you don't know the answer, I don't know what fuckin' blog you've been reading...
What concerts/shows did you go to?
Well, we saw the Madrigals this past weekend.
Describe your birthday:
Spent it with the woman I love.
What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008?
Get fired. Fall in love. Leave Pittsburgh.
What have been your favorite moments?
Holding Julie.
Any new additions to your family?
Yeah, I kinda joined one...
What was your best month?
Stick with the one that was the worst. March. Since then, they've all been better.
Made new friends?
Didn't you already ask me that? What? Are you getting senile or deaf?
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
DeKalb, Illinois.
Have you lost any friends this year?
Yeah. Lost one good one, and I understand why.
Change your hairstyle?
No, but for the first time in nearly 25 years, someone else cut it...
Have any car accidents?
Thank God, no, and let's hope it stays that way.
How old did/do you turn this year?
41
Do you have a New Years resolution?
Find a job, love Julie with all my heart, and not fail.
Do anything embarrassing?
Feh. This is ME, remember? When haven't I done something that's not embarrassing...
Buy anything new from eBay?
eBay is eVil. I avoid it like the plague. Now, if you asked me about Amazon, Newegg, Fry's...we can talk.
Get married or divorced?
Got engaged. Marriage will come in 2011.
Get arrested?
Nope, but I've got another 8 days to go this year. Let's see if I can make it to 2009 safely.
Did you get sick this year?
A mild bug here or there. Nothing major.
Are you happy to see 2008 go?
On one hand, yeah. Losing my job for such a stupid reason still kinda hangs heavy in the back of my mind. But if I hadn't, I'd never have met Julie or started living my life for me. I'll just say "it is what it is" and leave it at that.
Been naughty or nice?
Yes.
What are you looking forward to most in 2009?
Curtis' birth, for now. After that...let's see what happens. ;)
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