If the drive's a clickin'...

...it ain't good.

A brief explanation first: I have four computers. My main system (Prime), a five-year old custom built (by me) desktop; Onestar-Mobile, the new laptop I'm typing this on; a three-year old laptop I use for "experiments" (new operating systems, software I have to test, etc), and a workhorse desktop system I keep offline.

I can just see Julie's eyes rolling as she reads this. Yes, sweetheart, I need all those computers...and more, really...but that's not the point to this post.

I was working on Prime last night, doing a last bit of websurfing and getting ready to try my hand at making a new fractal (I was in a creative mood), when the hard drive started clicking.

I mean clicking loud.

I've heard enough bad hard drives in my day to know that ain't good a good thing.

I shut the computer down (cleanly) right away and decided to let it sit overnight. Give the drive a chance to cool down (it does help, believe it or not), and then dig out my backup external drive today to try and clone the dying drive.

I'm good at making backups of my disk, even if I only do it about once a quarter. I was a little behind...shit happens...and my last backup was in November before I left Pittsburgh.

When I found my ghost disk this morning, and the external drive, I hooked it up and started the imaging...only to have the disk click LOUDER and HARDER.

This is bad. REALLY BAD. If it gets any worse, I might have to use a bigger font.

It seems to be having problems cloning the "C" partition right now. If this is the case, and the worst of the damage is confined to "C"...this isn't as bad as it could be.

Warning: Eric is going to start speaking in geek right now. If you get confused, please be patient, and he'll try to translate for the non-tech savvy.

See, I'm rather old-school when it comes to computer drive partitioning. I don't believe, unlike current philosophies, that everything should be stored in "C". The only thing that should be in the "C" drive is the operating system. Programs, personal data, porn...whatever...should be kept in other partitions.

The only thing in my "C" drive right now, with the exception of a few programs who don't give me the option to install them on other drives (idiots), is XP. That's it.

Software is installed on "D". Personal data is stored on "E" and "F" is a swap drive, used for short-term storage. If the bad sectors are contained to the "C" drive, I can always revert to an earlier backup. There aren't too many programs that I've installed since then, so it won't be too, too bad.

This is the problem with computers these days, I believe. When you get your shiny new laptop or desktop with that massive 500GB hard drive, it's all one big "C" partition. Sure looks good, that you've got all that space, but if something happens, and you've gotta reformat your computer, everything in that "C" drive gets wiped.

Back at CMU, we used to argue that the "C" drive should be used to just have the OS, and nothing else. Userdata should be in another partition so should we have to nuke Windows (it happens more than you think), your dissertation that you've spent years on won't be affected.

Think of it this way: If you're a cook, would you store your recipes in the oven with the pot roast? Even if it's in a fireproof box, all it takes is one little accident and...whoosh...there goes all your recipes.

Okay, that's a bit of an extreme (and highly unlikely) example, but you get the gist of it.

It may not look it today by the sight of my dining room table, but I do believe in organization. Everything in it's place, and everything has a place it belongs. Maybe it's because I worked in a library for 12 years, but I like to have things properly organized. Dumping everything in one drive seems disorganized at best.

Sigh.

The cloning is still going on, some 12 hours after I started it. Looks like it's gonna run through the night, and I hope it's able to save my data. There's some things on there I haven't made backups yet on DVD, like pictures of Curtis, and I'm gonna be on pins and needles until it finishes.

Guess I'll head over to Newegg and order up a new drive. Thankfully, they're not that expensive these days. It's just a hope I don't have to reinstall XP again.

One more thing. If I haven't said it before, I'll say it again: BACKUP YOUR COMPUTER ON A REGULAR BASIS! I can't say that often enough. There's software programs out there to let you do it, and they're getting easier and easier to use daily. In fact, I saw this the other day...and besides looking cool, it's a simple and efficient and simple way to make sure your data is safe...until you hear it start to click. ;)

365 and counting, part II

What a difference a year makes.

One year ago today, I'd lost my job. Got a phone call from the HR department saying that I was fired.

I got that call while I was eating lunch at a rest stop in Indiana. I was making my first trip out to visit Julie, someone I'd just met a few weeks earlier online.

I was nervous that trip, well, about as nervous as I get. The trip was worth it, though, when I pulled in her driveway and she ran out the door and we hugged for the longest time in her front yard. I don't think we've stopped hugging since.

Yeah, it's been an interesting year. There've been ups and downs. I'm deep in debt and my credit rating's pretty much shot to Hell. I've a house back in Pittsburgh that, when it sells, will pay off my bills. I still don't have a job, and I wonder from day to day where the money's going to come from to pay the next bill. And I lost The Kid a few months ago, but at least she's not hurting anymore.

Still, I wouldn't change a thing. For all the problems, I'm happier now that I've ever been. I'm in love, and that love is returned in kind, sometimes a hundredfold. I've gained so much more than I had...a family, a woman who I will marry and love for the rest of my life, and even a step-grandson.

Some folks have wondered why we celebrate two anniversaries. Truth be told, I celebrate every day I spend with Julie. Odds are, I could find something else tomorrow to celebrate with her. Doesn't matter. They're just memories, things we have to share and things we have to look forward to.

A quick plug

Okay, I've gotta pimp an old friend here.

My buddy Adam writes an amazing blog/column/whatever for the Lehigh Valley (PA) Live newspaper. Remember newspapers? Ink printed on this thing called "paper". I know, nostalgia will be my downfall.

I highly recommend checking out this week's "rant", on technology and concert going.

I've known Adam since my college days, and he is still my favourite writer. Period.

Go check him out, and tell him "Eric still has the pictures...make good with the next payment or they get leaked".

How "egg"citing!

Here's a bit of trivia you might not know about me: I hate eggs.

Now, if they're in something, where I don't have to see, smell or taste them, I'm fine with it. In cakes, cookies, desserts of many kinds, I don't mind in the least. French Toast? Love it!

But by themselves?

They make me wanna gag. Julie once asked me what I hate about them, and it's simple: The taste, the after taste, the texture, the smell...

Pretty much everything there is about an egg disgusts me.

Having said that...



Julie's working early morning shifts at Schnuck's this week. She's learning bookkeeping, which I think is wonderful. It shows they like her, trust her, and think she's doing a wonderful job, going from starting as a cashier five months ago, working in the Deli and adding "on sale" tags to the shelves, she's learning so many facets of the store.

I keep telling her, they're lining her up for an assistant manager position. She doesn't want it, though. She's as humble as I am at times.

It's not easy, however. Because she's learning how to open, she's got to be there early. The store doesn't open until 6AM, and she's been there between 5 and 5:15 all week.

Since I'm haven't been doing anything productive with my time (applying and being rejected for jobs on a daily basis), I've been brining her lunch on her breaks. Everything from homemade PB&J to going to one of DeKalb's glorious fast-food places has been on "the menu".

She's been taking her break around 9 in the morning, so this week, it's been more of a breakfast break. Mickey D's was Monday, and I bought some frozen things I could microwave for her for the rest of the week.

Still...

Lemme flash back really quick: Julie was over Saturday night, watching a movie with me and making cheesecakes. She makes incredible cheesecake: Don't let her tell you different. Since she made the cheesecakes here, she left behind a carton of eggs...

You no doubt see where this is going, don't you?

I decided to make her some scrambled egg sammiches for breakfast on Tuesday, but I had no idea how to cook eggs.

I did a little Googling, found a couple recipes, watched a video or two, and felt confident that I could make something...edible.

They weren't perfect, by any means. A little too much butter in the pan, maybe a bit too much milk, and they could've been cooked longer. She likes her eggs well cooked. But for a first attempt? Not too bad.

Mind you, she thought it was funny I had to look up the instructions how to make eggs, and her kids thought it was funny. It's like I tried to explain: I don't like eggs, so why would I make 'em?

But I love Julie, so...

I'll try again and see how it goes. Hopefully, they'll be a bit better.

365 and counting

It was one year ago today.

A quiet Sunday afternoon.

Playing around on Facebook.
Clicking on pictures in Social Me.

When I clicked "flirt".

Had to go out, to see My Kid in the nursing home.
Got back later that night, and her pictures popped up again.
She was very pretty, so I clicked "flirt" again.

I was a bit surprised when she wrote back and asked if I was actually going to stick around this time.

I apologized. She said she was having a bad day.

We started talking.
And we've never stopped.



It's a year later.

Lots of changes. All of them for the better.

And I'm with my True Love.



Julie thanks me for finding her. I thank her for saving me.

It's been one year today, and I love her more than ever, but not as much as I'll love her tomorrow.

Here's to one year, beautiful lady...and to many more to come.

Hmm

It's a quiet Sunday morning over at my place.

I've been up for about an hour and a half now. Already showered, shaved and did all the other stuff people do in their bathrooms. Did a little websurfing, trying to decide whether I feel like making pancakes or just a bowl of cereal.

Julie's still asleep over at her place. She was so tired last night, I came back home to let her sleep. She was supposed to be off today, but because they buggered her schedule. she's gotta work later tonight. Worst part is, today's Travis' 21st birthday, and she wanted to spend it with her son.

Of course, I did have something to do here last night: I setup my new TV. Yes, I broke down and got a new television set. It was a sale at Best Buy (18 months, no interest financing...I'd gawddamn better be working by then!) that I couldn't pass up.

Now before you go thinking I've got some huge, geeky set...you'd be wrong. It's a 32 inch LCD, but it's not a super-geeky. The nice thing is, it fits my place. I think something bigger wouldn't have worked as well, but this TV is perfect.

I don't have cable or satellite, but I do have my DVDs. That's pretty much all I've used TV for in the past year, anyway, even when I was in Pittsburgh and have that lovely Dish package. Of course, the first DVD I had to pop in was an Andre Rieu concert. It was great to sit on the couch, relax, listen to some beautiful music and enjoy watching the show in Vrijthof Square. One of these days, I'll see if I can get Julie to watch one of those concerts with me. I'll admit, this is more of a "my" thing, and she might be bored by it.

Still would love to see him live again. Not this year, but maybe next. ;)

But this morning, while I was in the shower, I was thinking about this blog...more specifically, the title. "The Journal of Onestar".

I was thinking, I'm not really "Onestar" anymore. "Onestar", as I've said before, was more of a caricature of me, a parody of sorts. During the heyday of DeviantArt was when "Onestar" was at his peak is when "he" was hitting his stride, but those days are gone (much like the heyday of DeviantArt itself).

And, yes, the title of this blog has it's origins way back in 1992 when I first started publishing an e-mail e-zine. "The Journal of Onestar" has gone through several different versions over the years.

Today, there's no "Onestar" about me, I think. I'm...strange as it may seem and even stranger for me to type...more of a family man now, less of a lone wolf. Okay, so I'm still a bit of a horndog, but I save all that for the woman I love.

It might be maturity. It could be growing older (and, I suppose, growing up). It might also be (gasp!) a little more self-confidence on my part. I can step out from behind the shadows, out from the mysterious persona "Onestar" had built and be "just me".

I always said, I went by "Onestar" online for security purposes, to protect my real identity, but truth be told, there was more to it than that. I was able to protect myself, hide behind a mask, a personality I'd help create, and not let the real world see me for what I am. It's taken a very long time for me to get comfortable with people getting to know Eric. Insecurities and self-doubt, were easily hidden behind false bravado and that ever-so-comfortable self-depreciating sense of humor.

Hiding behind a keyboard also helped. Staying secluded, partly by choice, partly by circumstance, also made being the buffoon a lot easier.

But now?

Now, more folks know me, the "real" me. Most of you who read this blog have met me. Some of you call me friend, some consider me closer than that. Odds are, some still read this blog who, well...

Doesn't matter. What's past is past, let's leave it there, shall we?

So what does this all mean?

Well, I'm not changing the name of the blog, that's for sure. "The Journal of Onestar" is a good name, one you're used to seeing. I'm keeping it.

But don't expect to see me use "Onestar" for my name. Not anymore. It says "Eric S." up there in the profile. That's me. That's the guy who writes this stuff and who rambles on endlessly.

I've left "Onestar" behind.

If you're still coming around here, looking for him...hate to disappoint you, but he's history. Yesterday's news. If you can't accept that and move on, I'm sorry.

If you're coming around here for a man you consider "friend", "brother" or "lover"...welcome. I'm glad to see you.

And if you just happen to hit this page on a freak Google search accident, you're welcome to come back anytime you like. My life is, well, not the most interesting one out there, but it's a good one. For the first time in a long, long time...I'm quite happy with it.

Signed,
Eric