Friday, August 04, 2006

What then?

The human mind is an amazing thing.

Art...music...poetry...so many wonderful things have spawned from human thought, from a three pound lump of muscle.

But what happens when the mind starts to fail? What happens when something you've relied on your whole life, to make decisions, to guide, to provide rational ideas, does the opposite? What happens when the mind cannot stop thinking, and the thoughts you have make no sense...even to you?

What then?

I am bearing witness to the failing of the human mind, even as I type this.

Frustration. When the thoughts running through your mind make no sense...what happens then? Sure, there are medications that might help, but they take weeks to take effect...and there's no guarantee that it will work.

What then?

Sitting. Words you speak that make little or no sense, even to you. You spend hours and days trying to remember something but you don't know what that is but you know that you should be doing something even if you can't do it and it's not your fault but you still can't stop and...and...and...

What then?

I have no answers to that.
I can't offer any advice.

All I can do is sit and watch...and wait.

3 comments:

Shauna said...

It's among the cruelest of things....it truly is. Bless you for being there.

C to the Woo! said...

You can be there, as you are doing. You can be supportive, patient, kind and loving, as you are doing. You can cross each bridge, jump each hurdle, deal with each problem as it happens, as you are doing. That's all you can do. You are doing all you can do. Repeat that after me..."I am doing all I can do." Leave the rest to God, hope for the best outcome, and pray for the grace, the patience, the love, and the strength to deal with the worst outcome. Again, that's all you can do.

Lorri said...

You are doing all you can, and not many would do more than you are doing.

It is very sad, yes, very cruel, yes, very difficult, but know that those who love you are here for you. You are stronger than you think you are, and you will, and can, get through this...even if you think you can't. And, when it gets you down, when the time comes for new choices, you will choose correctly, and try not to second guess it. Rely on those who care, and those who love you...our ears are open.

<3