A domesticated male

More tales of the new bachelor...

Yes. I will admit. Over the years, I've abused the housekeeping abilites of My Kid. She was more than willing to clean the house, and I was more than willing to let her. Mind you, I did learn how to just about everything pertaining to housework...cleaning, laundry, washing windows, running the vacuum, all that stuff...and I even did them myself for several years before The Kid earned Forced Retirement.

However, there was one thing that I never did, one ability that eluded me: Scrubbing the Kitchen and Bathroom floor.

When I was but a wee child, I watched Mum do it: She'd get on her hands and knees and scrubbed the floor...really scrubbed...but as the years went on and age crept in, she resorted to mopping it down.

So, today, while cleaning the house, I realized that it was now my turn.

Armed with a bucket, a mop and a bottle of Mr. Clean, I stood there, looking at the kitchen floor...

...and I can feel the cringe of every woman, wife and mother who reads this...

...I wondered, what the Hell do I do now.

Being an enlightened male, I do know how to RTFM: Read The F***ing Manual. So I read the directions on the back of the bottle, or at the very least, the first line: Add 1/4 cup of blue stuff to a half-gallon, or bucket, or water.

Simple enough. I did it.

I then grabbed the mop...the manual mop...and dunked it in the stuff a couple times.

Yes, it's a manual mop, and yes, I did squeeze the excessive water out with my bare hands.

I then mopped down the floor. I'd seen pirate movies where they swab the deck, so I knew pretty much what to do: Mop, dunk, squeeze, repeat until done.

So I did it. Looked pretty good, but the floor was really wet.

This is the part that confused me.

What do I do? Let it air dry? Get on my *gasp* hands and knees and dry it? Run away in panic? Find a woman who knows what the heck she's doing and get her?

Before you ask, I'll tell ya. I got one of my old scrub towels out of the basement and dried the floor off. That was probably the wrong option, but it was a multiple choice problem, and I don't always do well on those.

Still...after drying it off and brooming some of the left-over crumbs and stuff out the door, it don't look all that bad.

At least to A Dumb Guy. Odds are, I'd get a woman in here and get dirty looks because I missed a spot or didn't properly rinse or leave a chocolate on the pillow and tip the maid.

But whaddya expect? I'm new at this. I'm learning...