Moochers!

Neighbors are wonderful things. They help out when you need them, watch the place, and generally make a neighborhood a better place.

Until they start to become pests. Constantly stopping over when you're in the middle of something else, waking you up too early when you're trying to sleep in, and always wanting more.

Mind you, I'm not talking about my human neighbors. I'm referring to the other animals: Birds, Squirrels and the whatnot.

What did you think I was talking about?

We have a couple bluejays in the area, and they have the most beautiful song...when they want to sing it. However, they also have this...squawk...that sounds like it's coming from something five times its size. Lately, it's figured out that it can squawk and we'll toss peanuts out to it. I'm not sure who's been trained to that Pavlovian response: Me or the bluejay.

This morning, my one morning to sleep in, I heard it out there squawking...at 5:30 in the morning. I rolled over, mumbled something about the lines of "forget about it you crazy bird" and went back to sleep.

And then there are the squirrels...or as my friend Gabbie would call them...the Twits.

They come around my back porch like little beggars looking for peanuts. Mind you, they're somewhat used to me now. I can open the back screen door a crack and offer them a peanut, and if I get low enough, they will take it from me. (I do keep my fingers well away from their teeth...I ain't that dumb.)

This morning, I was out of peanuts. I didn't pick them up at the store the other day, and this one was hanging around waiting for peanuts. The Kid made popcorn (with light butter and salt) for the birds earlier, and saved a couple pieces for The Twit. He wouldn't eat it. Tossed 'im out a cracker: He wouldn't touch it. I kept telling him I didn't have anything (yes, I talked to the squirrel...and no, I'm not sure who's the bigger twit) but he didn't move.

Finally, I hit upon inspiration. I took another cracker and put a little peanut butter on it. Opened the door, he came over, sniffed it, and went to town!

So, I go back and sit down to finish my breakfast (interruptions...sigh...), when I hear a "skritching" on the back screen door. It was the squirrel...climbing on the new screen, looking inside the house! I grabbed the camcorder (thankfully, the battery hadn't totally run down) and took a short video of him on the screen. It's a new mesh: His claws won't scratch or rip it. I got the heavy-duty screen material. I know the neighbors. ;)

For his performance, he earned a peanut-butter cracker. He took it from my hands, ate on the porch, and then scampered right off.

Maybe I was wrong about neighbors who overstay their welcome... :)