Frustration

Been awhile since I've made any updates of worth, it seems.
Been awhile since I've had anything to say, mostly.

Maybe I can clear my thoughts here and play "catch-up".

I've been trying to find a nursing home for The Kid, but it's been difficult. I've tried six places so far, and they've all had a waiting list, except for the one that wanted two year's cash advance. Given that we're just looking for a place to accept her on her pension, her social security and medical assistance, there's no way I can afford that.

After talking to some folks who are more "in the know" about this kind of stuff, they tell me it's amazing that so many places have passed on her, since patients on medical assistance are highly sought after, it seems. The place I wanted her to go to has a waiting list of 10 people ahead of her.

I've a friend whose daughter works in the nursing home field, and she tells me there's an opening where she works. We put the referral in for that place today. I hope she gets in there, because the hospital is pressuring me to find a place as soon as possible. I figure that her insurance is running out, and the hospital is pushing me to find a place before it's totally out.

I still haven't told her that she's not going to be coming home. Every once in awhile, she makes the inferrence that she wants to come home, and I avoid it to the best of my abilities, but it's not easy. After years of perfecting her ability to guilt (four sons can do that to someone), she can still find the right button to push on occasion.

It hurts sometimes. That's why I had to unplug for a couple days, step away from my "online life" and unplug. Listen to some music. Catch up on my reading. Go to bed a little earlier. Be nice if I could sleep in, but that's not gonna happen until the weekend.

I need to focus a little more on taking care of the house. I found some bugs down in the basement that had come up from the drain in the bottom of the floor. No idea how long they've been there: The dead bodies were stuck to the underside of a rug covering the drain. I don't spend nearly enough time cleaning like I should, I know. It's not easy, as you, gentle reader, will attest. Working all day, running around during and after work, and then trying to come home and clean? By the time I get in the house, usually between 7 and 8, I just want to crash.

Spent tonight relaxing on the couch, more listening than watching Sarah McLachlan's Afterglow Live DVD. Great concert, highly recommended, and it's a bargain, if you can find the CD/DVD combo. One of my favourite discs, really.

Sarah's singing "Fallen" right now. Her voice is so relaxing, so comforting.

I had a cup of Chai tonight. Winter's come a little early, with the temperature at night hovering above the freezing point. Actually saw some snow flurries the other day. Sure, it was great to see the snow, but I am so not looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

My nephew had his Confirmation (Catholic) last week. It was the first "family" event that Mum wasn't present for. My brother and I both commented on that, and how...strange...it was. First of many, I'd guess.

Guess that's why I'm in a funk. I can feel a bit of depression starting to take hold, at the back of my mind. The little things I live for, look forward to, don't hold the charms like they used to, like they should. This will pass. I know it will. It's getting to that point that will take some doing.

Gee, I wrote more than I intended to write. Maybe I needed to get this off my chest, put these thoughts down in print, as it were.

If I have anything else to say, I'll say it some other time. Right now, I'm going to go back and listen to some more music, and try to relax. As a friend of mine would no doubt say, I'll just sit back and breathe.

And deal with tomorrow when it gets here.