Just talkin'...

Yeah, I know. It's been awhile since I've posted anything.

I've been better, but I'm hanging in there. How about you?

That's interesting. I didn't know they could do that with a grapefruit and an monkey.

Me? Oh, I just stopped in my office to check my mail. Yeah, I've no DSL at home. Since I've been switching everything over to my name, there've been a couple...bumps...in the road.

Have I mentioned how much I hate that phone company that starts with a "V"?

I don't wanna put that in print. Slander, liable, and the whatnot. Although I don't think it matters, really. They've probably heard all the bad things I've said about them to the tech guys with my ISP, so they've got it recorded there. Funny thing is, most of the tech guys agree with me, so it's nice to know I'm not alone.

How's Mum, you ask? It's different every time I go see her. Some days I'll find a quiet, crying, somber woman who spends most of the time sleeping. Then there's nights when I'll find some manic person in my mother's skin who keeps screaming for WATER!

It makes life that much more interesting, lemme tell you.

I know we talked about this before, but it's just a shame that people can't grow old gracefully, with a certain dignity. Sure, some of them can, and have, but then there's the others...society's left them behind because they can't keep up with whatever the catchphrase of the day is. We shun our elderly. We put them away and forget about them. We're so obsessed with youth and staying young that we don't remember...this will catch up with us too, someday.

Yes, I know, I'm looking for a home for her and I understand the irony of my previous statement. There's a difference. I was there for her until I realized I needed help. I'd still be there with her, she'd still be home, y'know, if I thought I could do it. But, and I hate myself sometimes for admitting this, because it seems like a form of...weakness...I guess...but I couldn't do it anymore. I tried. God knows I tried.

You don't have to tell me I needn't feel that way. Most of the time, I don't. It's just that little voice pops into the back of my head...you know the one...that little bit of insecurity we all have...he tells me that I should have done more, I should have been stronger, I gave up too easily.

I mentally slap him upside the head, call Mum, have her scream WATER in my ear five or six times and that shuts him up. I KNOW I did all I could. It's wasn't a sign of weakness. It was a sign of strength and maturity and I did the right thing.

When this is all over, when she's somewhere settled in where professionals can watch her 24/7, then I'm taking a vacation. I don't think the universe will begrudge me that, do you?

Yeah, right. It will. I'll pay for it later...but I'll take the vacation anyway.

Hey, it was great talking to you again. Wanna go to lunch sometime? Cool! You know how to reach me...drop me a line. I'm gonna swing by Starbucks right now, get something to drink, and then head home. Back to work tomorrow, and all that.

Good seeing you again. Don't be such a stranger. Stay in touch.

And take care of yourself.
I mean that.

C-ya.