Footsteps

Here's a little fact that may surprise some of you: I love to walk.

Now, I'm not a small guy. I admit, I'm carrying maybe one or two more pounds than I should, and while it's not something I do on a daily basis, I do love to walk.

It's the simplest thing one can do, I believe. Just put one foot in front of the other and off you go.

Back in Pittsburgh, I walked everywhere. Down at the other end of my street was a shopping center with a grocery and department store. If I needed anything and wasn't in a picky mood, I could just walk over there. In the Summer, back in my library days, if I was working the night shift, I'd walk to work. Sure, it'd be a roughly 3 and a half mile walk, but if the weather was nice, I didn't mind. And when I worked in Oakland, I walked everywhere. There were so many places to walk to, during my lunch, it was so nice to just go out and be.

Since coming out here to DeKalb, I haven't walked nearly as much as I did back in the 'burgh. You'd think it'd be easier to walk out here: There's no hills or valleys like Pittsburgh has. It's flat (as I've commented before).

Alas, that's not the case. Things are much more...spread out...out here than back there. Sure, there's a grocery store and a mini-mart, but it's a mile away. It's so much easier...

...hm...that's not the word...

...lazier to get in the car and drive than to walk. Maybe I'm just getting lazy in my old age.

But tonight...tonight I walked.

Julie's place has been hectic (and that's using my diplomacy skills to the max) lately. Her brother's back in town. Her oldest moved back home. I love them both, don't get me wrong, but the two of them together...well...quiet isn't in their vocabulary.

Tonight, the house was louder than usual. I was sitting in the kitchen, and frustration set in. I needed to get out, but my car was blocked in. I couldn't get out to drive, and I wanted to go to Road Ranger for a drink, something, anything to get out of the house.

I walked out the back door. Julie stepped outside to talk to her other brother on the phone and she asked if I was all right. I told her I was fine...that I was going for a walk.

I've written before about my love of walking. You could read the old blog entry I linked above, or you can just read the highlight I'm about to paste below:

I've found a certain...peace...over the years from walking. Just me and the pavement under my feet can be very relaxing, giving me a chance to either think about problems or just not think at all. It's rare for my mind to actually stop thinking, and yes, I'm aware there's medication for that, but I have a serious problem with drugs. I've seen the meds they've given My Kid over the years...I think I'll pass, thank you very much.

Tonight, when I walked over to Road Ranger (past my place, the houses behind me, across the railroad tracks and main street...about a mile, like I'd said before), it was like old times. The pavement beneath my feet. The quiet. The wind...well, my breathing. Like I said, I've gotten lazy and apparently a bit out of shape.

But more than that, with each step, the frustration flowed out of me. I didn't have to think (except when crossing the street or the railroad tracks). I could just be, and that was a wonderful feeling.

Sure, I've walked the dog, walked around the mall, walked in the grocery store...but it's not the same. Those walks have a purpose. There's specific thoughts, a destination, something that you need to do or get or take care of.

Tonight, was a walk because I wanted to walk. Yeah, there was a destination, but...it wasn't necessary. I didn't have to go to the store for anything (well, Julie did want something to drink, but that's beside the point).

I walked to walk. It was a beautiful feeling.

The world isn't a simple place all the time. There's things on both our minds these days, like more on Julie's mind than on mine, but she's my love, and if something's bothering her, it bothers me too. But tonight, for a few fleeting moments, the world was simple. It was me, my feet, the ground, and nothing else.

I liked that feeling, and I want to enjoy it again. Maybe I'll drag Julie along for a walk at some point soon, to see if it's something we can share. No destination, no worries, no thoughts. Just a walk.

Just go for a walk.