You can't go home again, Part III

I originally wasn't going to blog tonight.

But Mum died shortly before 8PM this evening.




I went out to see her earlier today. She was still in the hospital, resting, curled on her side a little. I think the nurses must've rolled her, so she wouldn't get any bedsores. I didn't say anything to her when I was there...it was just a visit to stop in and check on her before going out to the nursing home, and have a little talk with the folks out there.

The nursing home had moved her room without asking me on Friday, and I wanted to know why. As Dan would say later, it's rather a moot point, but it was something I was curious about. I have my suspicions, but I may never know the full story. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened out there.

I ran a few errands this afternoon. While I was out, a social worker called from the hospital saying they'd made arrangements with the ambulance company to return her to the home around 7. Not a problem, I told them, and I thanked them for the call.

Shortly after 7, I called the nursing home and asked to speak with her nurse. She told me that Mum had just arrived, and she was on oxygen, and she was about to setup the morphine. I told her to call me anytime, day or night, when her condition changed. She said she would.

Had a phone call from my cousin in California shortly thereafter, and we talked for a bit. Talked to Steve for a few minutes before going in to watch Top Gear with Tim and the kids at 8.

We'd just sat down to watch it when the cell phone rang. It was the nursing home. They told me that Mum had stopped breathing, and she was gone.



I told Tim I was taking off. He asked me if I was okay to drive, and I assured him I was. I called Steve first, letting him know, then Dan, then Tom. Called my cousin and a couple of Mum's friends to tell them the news. There weren't too many people Mum was still close friends with in her later years, but those that were close to her, I called. Texted a few friends of mine to let them know. Julie was still at work...tried to text Jess, but she didn't have her number.

Arrived at the nursing home shortly after 9, and met with one of the nursing associates, a lovely and extremely caring woman named "Dimples". She loved Mum, always referred to her as "mother", and said the two of them were going to go to Vegas and have a hell of a good time.

I gave her a bit of a hug and talked to her for a minute. She went in first to make sure Mum was...hm...I'm not sure what to say here, so I'll just leave it at "you know". If you don't, well...

She told me it was okay to go in.

I said my last goodbyes then and there. What I said, what I did, was personal, between me and Mum.

Called the funeral home and talked to them for a bit. Before Mum went into the nursing home, I'd met with a funeral director and made plans for her then and there. They still had those records, albeit partial, since some details couldn't be finalized, but it's a good start. Tomorrow...sorry...later this morning, my brothers and I have a meeting with the funeral home to make the final arrangements.

I'm the executor of her estate. My brothers are there for input and advice, but the final word is mine.

Her funeral will be later this week, sometime. I'm not sure when just yet.

To my friends, who have supported me over the years, I wanted to say "thank you", for everything you've done for me. It is appreciated more than you know.

To the love of my life, Julie...thank you. Your love is helping me more than you know, and even though you're not here in person right now, I feel you with me, holding me up. I will be back to you soon, beloved.

All that I can say now is...goodbye, Mama. You've earned your rest. It's our turn now.
Don't be sad for me, for us. You've got the easy part. You let us do the worrying now.

I said this before, and I will say it one last time: I love you. I always have, and I always will.