Better late than never, I suppose

I was offline most of today, so I couldn't say this until now.

Merry Christmas, my friends.
I hope today was a good one for you.

Kinda/sorta 2008 meme in review

I borrowed this from my dear friend Charlotte's Facebook page.
Decided this was better in the blog here than over there...

Did you get a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I got all I could ever wish for in the woman I love.

Did you make a new friend?
One or two... ;)

Did you get into a physical fight with anyone?
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Did you go to a funeral or wedding?
Both, actually.

Get so drunk that you passed out?
I don't drink, therefore, I don't get drunk. I did get so exhausted I sounded like I was drunk, however.

Lost your voice?
Much to a few's regret, no.

Had someone tell you that they liked/loved you?
Every day.

How has '08 been so far?
A year of major changes in my life.

How old do you want to be when you die?
I'm too busy living and enjoying my life right now to think about that.

How do you feel about love songs?
They're fine in their place. I've been known to sing a few of them in my time.

Who was the last person to call you?
Jessica called me ten minutes after I dropped her mom off at work, asking if she was still with me.

Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/bathtub?
Neither, but I was always good at catching Prosey in the bath (Don't tell Rene!)

Where's the person you miss most?
Next question.

Do you just want to yell in someones face right now?
Nope.

Was today a good day?
It'll be better when I can go pick Julie after work.

Whats wrong right now?
My head is itchy. Oh, that whole "no job" thing as well.

What are your plans for this weekend?
Spend time with Julie when she doesn't have to work.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
I went so far as to ask her to marry me. ;)

Do you still play in the snow?
Does shoveling Julie's driveway and sidewalk count?

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only my angel.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to?
There is someone whom I will always care for as a friend, but nothing more than that.

Would you forgive a cheater?
Define "cheater".

Are you mean?
I believe we can all be mean in our own way, if we need to be, or when we choose to be.

Whos the first person in your contacts list in your phone?
Aw, damn. My phone's all the way at the other end of the table. I am not getting up to get it just to check. Probably something stupid like "*now*" or some shit like that...

Does it matter when your friends bring up your past mistakes?
Nope, 'cause I'd do the same for them!

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
Heh. You were obviously listening to me singing "Waterloo", weren't you?

When was the last time you stayed up all night on the phone?
April 13-14, 2008, and it wasn't on the phone, it was an IM chat with a certain someone...

Do you curse a lot?
Fuckin' A! Hell Yeah, you sonofabitch!

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
Hmm...nah. I'd be too cold. (I leave the details of how I look to your imagination, dear reader. Please don't puke over the thought.)

What are you listening to?
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio. Channel 35, Holly. Jim Brickman's Christmas Is, to be specific.

Where did you begin 2008?
Jonesboro, AR, with a dear friend (whom I fear I've lost).

What was your status by Valentines Day?
Single, content to be alone for the rest of my life. (HA!)

Were you in school anytime this year?
Funny thing is, I worked for a school for part of this year...

Did you have to go to the hospital?
For myself? Thank God, no. No work means no insurance.
I went there for The Kid, however.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
Only counting the number of state troopers on the Ohio Turnpike on my numerous trips to DeKalb.

Where did you go on vacation?
One should have a job to consider it a true "vacation", but I like the weekend getaways Julie and I had this year, to Toledo and to Lake Geneva.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Yeppers.

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes, God rest their souls.

Did you move anywhere?
BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! Oh, that was funny.
If you don't know the answer, I don't know what fuckin' blog you've been reading...

What concerts/shows did you go to?
Well, we saw the Madrigals this past weekend.

Describe your birthday:
Spent it with the woman I love.

What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008?
Get fired. Fall in love. Leave Pittsburgh.

What have been your favorite moments?
Holding Julie.

Any new additions to your family?
Yeah, I kinda joined one...

What was your best month?
Stick with the one that was the worst. March. Since then, they've all been better.

Made new friends?
Didn't you already ask me that? What? Are you getting senile or deaf?

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
DeKalb, Illinois.

Have you lost any friends this year?
Yeah. Lost one good one, and I understand why.

Change your hairstyle?
No, but for the first time in nearly 25 years, someone else cut it...

Have any car accidents?
Thank God, no, and let's hope it stays that way.

How old did/do you turn this year?
41

Do you have a New Years resolution?
Find a job, love Julie with all my heart, and not fail.

Do anything embarrassing?
Feh. This is ME, remember? When haven't I done something that's not embarrassing...

Buy anything new from eBay?
eBay is eVil. I avoid it like the plague. Now, if you asked me about Amazon, Newegg, Fry's...we can talk.

Get married or divorced?
Got engaged. Marriage will come in 2011.

Get arrested?
Nope, but I've got another 8 days to go this year. Let's see if I can make it to 2009 safely.

Did you get sick this year?
A mild bug here or there. Nothing major.

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
On one hand, yeah. Losing my job for such a stupid reason still kinda hangs heavy in the back of my mind. But if I hadn't, I'd never have met Julie or started living my life for me. I'll just say "it is what it is" and leave it at that.

Been naughty or nice?
Yes.

What are you looking forward to most in 2009?
Curtis' birth, for now. After that...let's see what happens. ;)

Dean Martin sure ain't kidding

Baby, it's fucking cold outside.

The high today in DeKalb is -4. That's MINUS FOUR DEGREES, and I don't mean Celsius. Oh, and lest I forget, there's a Blizzard Warning, a Wind Chill Warning, and a Winter Weather Advisory. They're saying the wind chills, later tonight, will make it feel like 20 to 30 degrees below zero.

So we sent out for pizza delivery.

I can attest that it's cold out there today. I spent the night with Julie after seeing the DeKalb Madrigals concert. It was a nice experience...I rather liked it. Presented by the high school and held NIU, they're high school students who sing like angels. A great Christmas pageant concert...for the price of admission, you get dinner and a show.

Ah, but there was a twist with the dinner.

Julie and I got food poisoning.

They served bread pudding as a dessert, but it was sitting out on the table when we got there. Jessica had some and got a little sick from it, and Hailey and Brad didn't have any, so they were fine. Julie and I pretty much finished ours (I love a good bread pudding), and we got the worst of it.

Mind you, I've had food poisoning a few times, so I know how to deal with it and treat it. Julie's never had it before, so she let it go all night until it got to the point she felt her stomach was being used like a football, so I had to go back over to my place to get something to settle her upset tummy.

I got the chance to take care of my ladylove today. I think I did pretty good. Gotta feel sorry for whoever answers the phone at the high school tomorrow, though. I think there's gonna be some pissed off people calling in.

After letting her rest for the morning, we started making Christmas cookies. There's a family tradition: Julie buys a cookie recipe book and lets the kids pick out up to three cookies from it. Then they make the cookies, some of which they give away.

Well, most of the kids are out of the house right now (two of them unaccounted for, which is a slight concern, given the weather), so it's been the two of us, recovering from the night before, to make cookies.

It's been fun. My idea of "baking cookies" is to get the tube of pre-made sugar cookie dough and stick vanilla, butterscotch, or whatever's-not-chocolate chips inside, and toss 'em in the oven. Julie bakes from scratch, and from what I've sampled so far, she's damn good at it.

I think I'm gonna suggest to her to save the rest for another time (even though there's not too many days before Christmas, and she's gotta close at the store all week) and take it easy. Wait for the pizza...which has arrived even as I type this...and we go curl up on the couch, watch a little TV, and listen to the wind blow outside...

My GPS won't tell me where my life is headed.

I'm a little nervous this morning.

I've got a job interview in a little over an hour from now. First one of these I've had in a few months, and to say I'm anxious might be an understatement.

Best part is, it's to be a part-time school bus driver.

It's work, and after being off the clock for so long, I'm looking for any honest work. The fact that I have never driven anything larger than a van doesn't bother me too much. I figure, just because I've never done it before doesn't mean I can't do it. How am I supposed to know what I can or can't do if I don't try?

I spent the last 10 years of my life fixing computers. Before that, I spent 10 (or so) years working in a library. Seems that my life changes every 10 years or so, so maybe this is what the next phase of my life is supposed to be. Although I was kinda hoping it would have involved winning the lottery and living a life of ease, I guess bus driver is as close a substitute as I can get.

Oh, and they're calling for an ice storm up here this afternoon, along with, by tomorrow morning, between 9 and 12 inches of snow.

My love tried to warn me what the Winter was like out here, but as with most everything else, some things have to be seen to be believed.

I've been used to some heavy snowfalls back in Pittsburgh, but nothin' like this. No wonder Julie hates Winter. Seems like there's been snow on the ground out here since I arrived three and a half weeks ago.

I'm gonna go get in the shower, get dressed for the interview, and head over there. Wish me luck, kids, or at least give me good enough lottery numbers so I can get a truck or something...

Thoughts from the morning

Thanks to Tim for sending me this pic.

There was an open house back in Da Burgh yesterday. I haven't heard from the Realtor yet to see how it went.

I've finally got Internet access here at my place. Took awhile, three phone calls to The Evil Empire, a new DSL modem (old faithful didn't survive the trip, apparently) that some twit at Bestus Buys didn't say they have in stock, but I found right there on the bloody shelf and a bit o' tweaking and geeking. It was worth it, though. I've a faster Internet connection than it was in Da Burgh, the Vonage line is up and running, so I can just put the cell back to "emergency use" and/or "texting only" modes.

Still no movement on the job front, although I've found a couple possibilities, or so I hope. The school district is looking for a geek, and I happen to be one, who has...

• loads of customer service experience
• familiar with the education environment
• training and teaching skills (I used to train new part-time staff years ago)
• Geek cred out the wazoo.

Now all I need is them to hire me.

Of course, there are other avenues I'd like to pursue as well, possibly. The local Barnes and Nobles is a good possibility (12 years in a library might give me an edge) and I've even put in an application at Caribou Coffee. I think that'd be fascinating, working at a coffee shop. I'd dreamed of owning one, awhile back, and this would be a good experience. I've even worked in a job where I was on my feet for 8 hour shifts before...

And, most important of all, I get to see Julie. It's wonderful knowing I don't have a 9 hour drive to be with her, just a two minute (or less) walk around the block to her place. Tonight, the family will be at her place. We're gonna make sammiches and watch Dark Night.

This is a good life. I'm happy, I'm in love, and even without the job, I'm happy.

Now to figure out what to do for Christmas this year...

Another really short post

Presenting the virtual tour of my new home.
A Flickr slideshow with photos from my new place.
Check it out.

My favourite part has to be the garage.
I've never had a garage before!
I'm so fascinated with it, I shot this...
Updated with correct video.

A blog title longer than the blog itself.

It's listed.

Greetings from DeKalb, Illinois

It's been (almost) a week since I've moved to DeKalb. Yeah, it's a little strange, and there have been some weird moments...like looking up from my dining room table and seeing my furniture in a different house...but all in all this first week has been a good one.

Last week was a whirlwind. I can't thank my best friend Tim enough for the support and the help. Without him, I doubt I'd have made it out here.

Sure, there were some emotional moments before I left Pittsburgh. Going out to see My Kid was...difficult, to say the least. Leaving the nursing home, I had my dark glasses on for some time, so no one could see my red eyes.

Yet I didn't shed any tears when I left my brother's place after Thanksgiving. I haven't felt any love or support from them during the last few weeks since I first told them I was moving. I could understand my one brother's concern, that I was losing my "safety net", but really, at some point before, they'd all left home with no guarantees, no safety net. Who am I to do any different?

We've talked about this before, Julie, Tim and I. The consensus is that they've had me to take care of The Kid for so long, now with me gone, they've gotta pick up the slack and, y'know, visit her more than once a month, if that.

Tim and I picked up the truck Thanksgiving morning and loaded a few things, like my bed, on it before going off for our respective dinners. Slept on my couch that night. Friday morning came and I started putting boxes on the truck before Tim, his parents, and his kids came over to help.

Notice please the lack of my brothers in that statement. They were all too busy to come help me move. Kinda shows who I can count on, doesn't it?

We got the truck loaded in about three hours, not too bad for two 41 year olds, a couple of pre-teenagers, and two septuagenarians. After that, Tim's parents took his kids off to dinner, while I took one last look around.

I can't begin to describe the emotions, the feelings, of seeing my old home empty, bare to the walls. Some of you have seen the photos...imagine standing there, in a place you'd spent your entire life...

Yeah. I'll leave that thought alone.

We woke up around 2AM Eastern time and got ready to hit the road. To save a bit of cash, I decided to drive my car and Tim'd just drive the truck, instead of getting a trailer hitch. Well, seems the anti-freeze is low in my car, and my car was a wee bit on the chilly side. Every rest stop would find me haulin' ass into the rest stop to warm up, and buying hot coffee or tea to drink to keep me warm. I'll have to check and see why my anti-freeze is low soon...it can get chilly out here, and having no heat in a 12 year old car is not a good thing.

Got into Dekalb about 11AM, Central time. I called Tim and told him to pull into Schnucks' parking lot...I had someone I had to see. Bought a dozen roses, went over to the Deli department, and asked for Julie.

From the hug and the kiss, you'd think she was happy to see me. Either that, or she just wanted the flowers.

Between her, the kids, and our friends, we had about a dozen people to unload the truck. To give Tim some rest, he stayed in the truck and unloaded. I was in the house and directed. Organized chaos, to be sure, but we got everything off in about an hour. I'm so thankful for Julie, the kids and our friends...they were there for me when my family couldn't.

Gee, think I'm a little bitter?

After everything was unloaded and somewhat organized (we had the place about 80% setup), it was time for the party at Fatty's. Fatty's is to Dekalb as Primanti's is to Pittsburgh, except instead of slaw and fries on the sammich, they've got a killer Cajun Potato Salad. Good times, good food, good friends. Tim just fit in (but I knew he would), and we all had a good time.

Sunday came, and so did the snow. The weather, while cold, was pretty much perfect the last couple days, but Sunday was the first significant snow in the region. We got Tim to O'Hare (he only had a three hour delay to look forward to) in plenty of time. Farewells, safe journeys and hugs were shared, and then Julie and I went home.

That's what DeKalb is now. It's home. I'm here with Julie at her place (long story short, I still don't have Internet over at my place, since Comcast sucks and Verizon will need another week to get my DSL up and running), but we're headed over to my place soon.

This is where I belong. This is where I'm loved. If you'd told me a year ago I'd be spending the first Friday in December in a high school gymnasium in the Midwest, watching a basketball game, I'd have laughed in your face...but that's where I was tonight, with Julie and a couple of the kids watching DeKalb take on Kaneland (and win). It was good. It was fun.

Right now, the focus is on getting a job. I want to work. I've been off the clock for too long. I've been applying everywhere, from businesses looking for a good geek to Barnes and Noble and JC Pennys.

Julie is amazing. She's wonderful. The light of my life and my true love. I'm just so happy being with her...knowing that I don't have to drive 9 hours to see her, that I can walk across the street to be with her is the happiest feeling I have ever known.

The photo at the top of this blog is of Pittsburgh, and while it's my home town, it's not my home anymore. I'll change it at some point...I have a good idea what I want to put up there next...but all that matters is that I'm home, where I'm welcomed, I'm cared for and I'm loved.

What more could anyone ask for?

Just a quickie...

Hi, kids.

I'm moved into my new place, although it's not totally unpacked yet. No internet there...I'm over at Julie's place with my laptop surfing the web.

Today, I'm headed off to change my driver's license and see about getting a job. Few places around here, but it's something, while I wait for the house to sell.

I'll write more soon, promise.

Things I will miss

Over the past few weeks, I've been making a list of things I will miss about Pittsburgh. Decided it'd be funny to post this when I'm halfway between Pittsburgh and DeKalb. I like that about Blogger...you can write something in advance and tell it not to post until three weeks later.

Mind you, nothing here compares to the thing I'm gaining by moving...Julie's love.

• Quaker Steak and Lube
• Primanti Brothers
• Gullifty's
• Triangle Bar and Grill
• Ali Baba's
• The view from Mount Washington
• Sheetz (believe it or not, they've got the best chai I've tasted, and it's bloody cheap!)
• PNC Park
• Kennywood

Mind you, there are some things I won't miss...

• Potholes.
• Construction.
• The Parkway onramp from Swissvale headed to Monroeville. I always swore I'd die in a horrible car wreck there one day.
• Waiting for the bus in Oakland in the middle of Winter when it's snowing and all the buses decide to go into hiding.
• The fact that, really, you can't get there from here. A two mile trip can easily take 20 minutes here.
• Idiots who decide to slow down when they reach the tunnels.
• Idiots in general.
• Pittsburgh radio. When I heard the same crappy Celine Dion song on three different stations, at the same exact time, I couldn't listen to it anymore. Thank the FSM for satellite radio.
• 100 degree days with 100 percent humidity.

As Julie will remind me, it's not like we'll never be back here. We'll be back to visit The Kid, go to Kennywood and ride the Thunderbolt (if only to hear Julie scream "Holy Fucking Shit" again) and visit.

It's not goodbye, Pittsburgh. It's "see ya around".

Giving thanks

I can see more than half of my dining room table.

All things considered, this is a rather impressive feat, since the dining room table became the staging area for my move a few short weeks ago. I've had it piled with papers, boxes, junk, tape, shit, my laptop and almost everything else. I had a small space at the one end, just large enough for a placemat, so I could have a place to eat.

Now, tonight, I can see the other side of the table (even the tabletop) with ease.

I look in front of me and I see a dark living room. No lights in there...they've all been packed away in boxes. For that matter, that's all I see. Boxes. Totes. Containers.

A life packed up to fit in a seventeen foot moving truck.

Hopefully, it'll all fit.

Slight change of plan. We're picking up the truck first thing tomorrow morning. I figure, we have it for four days, so might as well get it tomorrow and get a jump start on packing.

I'm really not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night.

For the most part...

The packing's done.

There's three things that I'm not going to pack until Friday morning

• Sheets and towels I'm currently using. I'll pack those Friday morning after I wash them.
• The stereo and satellite radio. It's the only form of entertainment I have at the moment.
• The telephone and DSL modem, after I call Verizon and cancel the service. I'll have Vonage forward all calls (temporarily) to my cell phone, likely for the weekend.

I've also got the cleaning stuff to pack, but that's minor. I want to give the bathroom and the kitchen floor a cleaning before I pack that stuff away.

It's snowing tonight. I'm sitting in the living room, relaxing and looking out the window on occasion watching it blow. They're saying Pittsburgh's supposed to have two to four inches of snow by this time tomorrow. Thankfully, all the weather reports I've seen say this weekend, while cool, should be good.

Packing here will be interesting. Tim and his folks are gonna be here to help me put stuff in the truck. My family...hm...I sincerely doubt they'll be here to help me. I'm not feeling much support from them on this, but that's fine. I've got the love and support of my friends in this.

When we get to DeKalb, however...bless Julie...the troops will be there and ready. Her kids will be there to help, as well as Jessica's fiancee Brad, and Kathy, Chris and their kids.

Wow. That blew me away when Julie told me they'd be there. My friends...my friends...are more supportive in this than my brothers.

So to my friends, let me say this: Thank you. Thank you for the support, the love, the good vibes and wishes. They've meant the world to me. It means so much, especially since I'm not feeling much love from blood relatives these days...

I've taken more pictures of the boxes around the house, but Ubuntu's being fussy about mounting the camera. (I don't wanna hear any gruff from you Windows lovers out there...XP and Vista won't even see my old Olympus. Ubuntu's been able to see it until this last version dropped. There's bug reports out there for it now. The community will fix it...I got faith.

At any rate, when I can, I'll post the pics I've taken. Might not happen until after I move, but you'll see 'em.

It ain't funny now...

...but I'll laugh at this some point.

I finished packing the upstairs late last night. Everything there is packed away except for the sheets and towels I'm using, and stuff in the bathroom. I even packed away the digital clock sitting on my dresser.

Got to bed after Midnight last night. I rolled over sometime while it was still dark this morning, and thought I'd heard a faint electrical buzz. Figured it wasn't anything important, and it'd go away when I went back to sleep.

Only thing was, it didn't go away.

I finally had to get up. Checked my cell phone's time, showing it was about 10 to 6, and I knew exactly what it was.

Somehow, while packing, my clock's alarm switch got turned "on". Mind you, I never use that alarm...I'm one of those bastards who can wake up on their own when it's time...

But, you ask, how can a clock, unplugged, packed away in a box under a blanket and a pullover, make noise?

Bless and curse the maker of the battery backup for this one. Sigh...

Tried to go back to bed, but couldn't. This is gonna be a long day, methinks...

P.S. Oh, and Julie? The mantle clock, the piece of furniture I own that you love most of all, stopped at the exact moment I got up. Guess what's getting packed today.

Every picture tells a story, don't it?

For my 250th blog post, I'll just let the photos tell the story...















For those of you who've been to my home, some of those images will be somewhat surprising. It's all good, though. I'm going off to be with Julie. I'm going out to live my life.

Boxes, boxes, boxes

I took down the pictures tonight.

For those of you who've been in my house, you'll know that I have pictures on the walls. Photos I've taken, a painting here or there, gifts from friends.

There's only two pictures on the walls right now, simply because they won't fit in the box: An old painting of The Last Supper that's been in the family for I don't know how long, and my print of Hopper's Nighthawks, my favourite painting. That's it. All the others have been packed away.

Yeah, the packing phase has begun. The kitchen's about 75% packed away. Glassware, pots and pans (except my wok...bought it a year or so ago for $10 and never used it) and some of my appliances. Dishes haven't been packed yet. I can do that tomorrow. Not that big a deal: I've got plenty of paper plates to hold me for the next week or so.

About 90% of what's going to storage is there. I've got just gotta pack some of the nick-nacks, like Mum's China Doll (that my oldest brother brought her back from The Orient, when he was in Vietnam) and some little things.

Friday, Tim's coming over to get the desk and the TV. Yes, I'm giving him my big 37-inch, widescreen, high definition, heaviest sonofabitch on the face of God's Green Earth television. It took three of us to get the TV into the house, and that was six years ago. I told him early on, when he helped me get it in the house, that I'd give it to him someday. I do try and keep my word.

I've already disconnected my main computer. It's sitting over in one corner of the room. I'm using my laptop for the next week or so to surf the web here. It's weird to see it all apart over there. I made a backup of the drive before shutting it down, though...one never knows what's gonna happen when moving.

Down to 10 days now. Julie's as anxious as I am. I just want these days to be over, to be out there. All I have to do is make one more drive out there, one more trip, and I don't have to leave her again. It will be wonderful...

Called and setup utilities out there today, gas, water and electric. I'm gonna call The Evil Empire tomorrow to see if they'll give me internet-only at a decent price, but I'm not expecting it. Instead, I'll just use The Other Evil Empire to stick with DSL, in the chance they get FiOS out there at some point. Don't need home phone service, just a dedicated data line.

I'll have to see what I'm gonna do for a cellphone provider out there. The Death Star and the aforementioned Other Evil Empire have limited service out there (the irony of their commercials, saying they've got the best coverage, is not lost on me). The one that has the best coverage, amazingly enough, is those NASCAR Cup sponsors. Hm. Not sure I wanna go back to them, given some of Prosey's problems.

I'll figure that out after I get there and, oh, I dunno, get a job? Gee, that'd be wonderful. I've been applying for three or four jobs daily out there, and so far, just a handful of "we're not hiring now" letters. Got one phone call from a HR department, saying I passed the first round of qualifications, but didn't get a call from the department itself. Looks like I won't be going "forward, together forward" I guess.

Wow. I've been rambling. Either I'm tired or...nah, I'm tired.

I'm gonna go offline, listen to a little more Mad Dog Comedy (I miss XM Comedy), wait for my beloved to call, and then go veg.

More later, kids...be good.

Quickie Sunday night notes

I'd love to blog daily with what I'm doing before the move, but that'd get boring really quick. Instead, I'll just post when major events happen, or if it's late and I'm bored and I feel like writing.

Like tonight, bored and feel like typing.

* Went out to check on The Kid today. Naturally, when I got there, she was asleep...mouth wide open but not snoring (loudly). I stood in the doorway for about 15 minutes, watching her sleep, and then left. Dropped off a set of rosary beads and some toothpicks for her before going.

Okay, about the toothpicks: She was always searching for a toothpick for obvious reasons. Even without her bottom teeth, she still asks for 'em, and while I don't think the staff would give them to her, and she can't really use 'em, I had a small pack of 'em. Left it there to make her feel good.

* Stopped at a rather packed Wal-Mart. I swear, if everyone's feeling an economic crunch, what the Hell are all these people in there doing, with shopping carts packed full of crap?

Wait. Almost forgot. It's Wal-Mart. Nevermind.

Got some groceries for the week and a few more tubs, which I used...

* When I got home, I packed away photo albums. I gave my brother some of the older photo albums (pictures from before I was born) yesterday, and wanted to put the rest in storage. My brother has a thing for genealogy and family history, so I knew he's like to have those albums. I kept a few of the older ones, as well as those from the year I was born. No worries, love. I'll be bringing those.

Ran the totes down to storage, and came back intending on taking a second shipment when I found boxes with old papers of Mum's. Rather than take those down sight unseen, I decided to wait until tomorrow to look through them, and decide what can be stored or shredded.

Mind you, I did look through some of those albums, for photos of me when I had the long hair, just to prove to the world that I had a full head of hair, and I found one of myself from 20 years ago that's downright scary. I'll scan and post it somewhere, but consider yourself warned. It ain't pretty.



The agent comes tomorrow to put the house on the market, and it's a wreck. Sigh. Where's that bulldozer to just push all this shit out into the backyard?

Two weeks

Tired.

Dunno if I'm more physically or mentally tired. I think it's somewhere between the two, but right now, I can't tell which is which.

Let's see...right now, as I type this, it's about 9:30 Eastern time. Two weeks from this moment, I'll (hopefully) be in the new townhouse, trying to get some things unpacked (either that, or Julie, Tim and I will be at Fatty's, chillin' and introducing Tim to Cajun Potato Salad).

But that's in two weeks time. More on that soon. Let's see what we've got going on right now...

Today was the "small move". Tim, his kids and a friend came over and we moved out some of the pieces of furniture that's not going with me to DeKalb. The dining room, where I'm typing this, is now half-empty: The buffet, bar and organ are all down in storage, along with a few totes, my comic book collection (yes, I'm NOT bringing my comics) and a few other things.

The move went well today. We got the van about 9 this morning amid light showers and sprinkles, and the kids were ready when we got back to the house. It went pretty quick, and I treated 'em to Eat 'N Park for lunch.

Got back to the house and one of my brothers called, saying he was on his way over to get some of his stuff. He's concerned about me selling the house, right now, at a time of economic insecurities. He's worried about me losing my safety net, getting into financial troubles, which could cause problems between me and Julie.

I told him that I've had this house, this safety net, for the last 41 years. The time is right for a change. I'm in love, yes, and I want to be with her, and it's time for me to live my life...and if that means I'm gonna be out there, no job, deep in debt...so be it. I don't care if I have to go clean toilets, I'll do what I have to do.

He and I...we're both stubborn. My brother and I love each other dearly, and we worry about the other. He doesn't want to see me hurt, and I appreciate that more than words can say, but I'm not worried. Much like my love, I know it will all work out in the end. I have faith that way.

There's a bunch of tubs sitting around the house. I've got a few more things to move to storage...nothing major, pictures, nick-nacks and the ilk...and some important papers that I'll either have to put in a safe-deposit box or have my brother put in his. Once that's done, then things get packed for The Big Move.

I've got a reservation for a 17-foot U-Haul to be picked up on Friday the 28th. We'll drop Tim's car off at the airport (this is a one-way trip, and Tim's gonna fly back the next day), pick up the truck and come back to pack it. Crash for a bit, get up, as Tim says "stupid early" and drive to DeKalb.

Once we get there, Julie and her kids will be there to help us unpack. We'll get the big things put where they belong, assembled and then I can work on the details later.

Over the next two weeks, I've gotta work with the Realtor to get the house on the market, get utilities turned on there (and turn the ones here down to next to nothing), drop off some things to storage and to family here, say "goodbye" to local friends, and maybe even have a little turkey along the way.

I'm so excited. I'm so happy. I'm just so looking forward to moving, to starting my "life" out there with Julie. Will it be easy at the start? Maybe, maybe not.

All I know is...it's my life, and I'm ready to start living it. Might've taken me a bit longer than others, but I'm ready to start living.

Every blogpost paints a picture, don't it?

We all know things about ourselves.

Some things we know from birth, an instinct that we have that goes beyond self-awareness. Some things we learn over time, as we grow older, as we try new things, we understand and learn more just who we are.

I understand many such things about myself, and today, I wish to share one of them with you.

I cannot paint.

Hm. That seems a little vague. Let me clarify that previous statement.

I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near paint, paint brushes, wet paint, cans of paint, anything that might need painted, anything that has ever been painted, and paint just in general.

Most folks know that I have a degree of patience, depending on the subject. When it comes to painting, I have zero patience and zero tolerance. I want it done, mostly because I find it as much to watch paint dry as it is to actually paint.

The family home is going on the market, so I can move to DeKalb and be near Julie. The only reason why I'm painting is because I want to sell the house for a decent amount of money, and the front room (The Kid's former room) had taken some water damage (the chimney sprung a leak a few years back, and it got into the wallpaper and paint in her room...nothing major, just ignored for a long time), and it needed fixed before I sold the house.

My buddy Tim, a man with far more patience with a brush (and he hates to paint) agreed to come over and plaster the part of the wall to even it out, and then I'd paint it. So far, so good.

Except one thing: I should not be allowed to paint!

I've got one of those paint tubes...not a power paint brush, but the thing where you put a lid on the paint can (that's the same size of the can, making it next to bloody impossible to get the thing on easily), stick the tube with the paint brush on it, and suck the paint into the tube so you're not always having to dip your brush in the paint tray.

In theory, this is a good idea. In practice, getting the tube to actually suck the paint out is, I believe, something developed in the Third level of Hades. Getting a tight fit on the sucker tube requires fixing it on the just right...and patience.

Have I mentioned I hate painting?

There's two coats of paint on most of the walls now. Just waiting for them and the patches to dry. Do a little touch-up (HA!), and it'll be done. Furniture's moved out of that room, so that's one less thing to worry about.

Seventeen more days.

It's late and I'm tired...

...but I had to post this before going to bed.

November 29th.

That's the day I'm moving to DeKalb.

Three weeks and I'm leaving Pittsburgh.

Yay!

This post is full of shit

So much shit.

Over the past few weeks, I've bought 8 really large Rubbermaid containers to pack shit in. So far, five of them are totally full, and one's halfway there.

I bought six medium sized tubs. They're pretty much full of shit.

And I've got more shit to pack.

I'm willing to wager that everyone out there who reads this blog has moved their shit at least once in their lives. I haven't. I've never had to do this before. I've lived in the same place, with the same shit, for the last 41 years.

This is daunting. It's overwhelming at times. I'm not only going through all the shit I've accumulated, I'm going through shit that belonged to my family. My mother's shit. Some of my brothers shit that they left behind when they moved. I get to go through it all. When I bought the house two+ years ago, I inherited all of that shit.

Julie and I talked earlier today, and she finds it nigh-impossible to believe that I haven't gone through all this shit before. There's three reasons for that. First, I didn't really think about the shit. Second, it wasn't in the way of my shit, so I didn't give a shit. Third, some of it was The Kid's shit, and the feelings and emotions were too raw to go through the shit. As time passed...I really didn't give a shit.

No shit.

So now I've got over 50 years of shit to go through, and believe me, some of this shit is really shit. I'm not sure where the end of all this shit is. I might be near it. I've gone through 90% of the shit in the basement (leaving only the Christmas shit and some of the more interesting shit to clean out), and 70% of the shit in the kitchen and dining room. There's one big red tub in here that's just full of my CDs, and that sonofabitch is heavy shit. It's gonna take two of us to lift it, I think.

I've completely canceled my Dish Network service. Originally, I was going to just put it "on hold", but when I got the bill today saying they didn't "pause" my service, and I got billed for the full month, combined with the fact that I can't get Dish at the new place, I went and canceled it. Might not even get cable service at the new place, just get high-speed internet access and leave it at that.

Yeah, I've found a place to live out there. Nice two-bedroom townhouse that's really a little bigger than my current home. There's just no basement and a two-car garage. I'll actually have a garage, and the best part is it's pretty much right across the street from Julie's place. I figure, I can save money on gas while there...I can walk home when she needs a break from me.

I want to move out there in the next couple of weeks. I've gotta see if I can line up a few folks to help me move shit from here to a storage facility. Even if I have to keep some of the shit there short-term while I get the house on the market, that'll help.

I'm just tired. It's been a very long day, and tomorrow's gonna be even longer, I think.

This weekend, I'm going to go around and talk to my family, let them know what's going on. Tell them I'm probably not going to be here for Thanksgiving...hmm...I wonder how that'll go over.

And then, I've gotta go out and tell The Kid. That's going to be the most interesting conversation of them all. She's already asked me once if Julie and I talked marriage (a very surprising thing to hear from her...shocked the shit outta me), and I know she'll be happy to hear that Julie agreed to be my wife...but I don't know how she's gonna take the fact that she won't see me very much anymore.

Sigh.

I miss Julie.

I think I'm done for the day. I've got a DVD in the player (Alonzo Bodden...very funny comedian), and I'm waiting for Julie to call me after she gets off work and gets a bite to eat. Odds are, she's starving, after working all afternoon and evening. Other than that...

I'm gonna try and catch up on others blogs this weekend. Been behind on that, sorry.

I'd add more shit, but I'm too pooped out.

Mark yer calendars

April 16th, 2011.

It's a date.

November 4th

Voting is a privileged, a gift, a right.

If you're a registered voter, go out today and cast your ballot.

I don't care which party you're voting for. I don't care if it's for change or for more of the same.

Go vote.

Dearly beloved...

Tomorrow, Julie and I are going to a wedding.

No, it's not ours. That's a-ways away in the future. We don't have a date set.

This is the wedding of her friends Amy and Troy. You might've seen it in her blog that she was looking for a date for the wedding, and that's how we ended up meeting. (She got more than just a date for the wedding out of the deal.)

It's going to be an absolutely beautiful day for a wedding. Highs in the upper 60's, maybe lower 70's, and for November 1st, that's pretty impressive.

I've got my nice, dark gray suit here, ready for tomorrow. Julie's got...well...she's got something, but I'm not entirely sure what it is.

I'll make my way back to Pittsburgh a few days later, fix up the old house nice and pretty, and get her on the market. Shortly thereafter, I'll load some stuff on a truck and say "goodbye" to Pennsylvania, and "hello" to Illinois as a full-time resident. Get a job out here, something retail likely, until I can find someone willing to take a chance on me.

We'll get a picture or two of us tomorrow, for the curious who wanna see how we look dressed up.
I'll have to be sure and shake Troy's hand when I see him, because if it weren't for him...

I wouldn't have found the love of my life.

It's a video blog, Charlie Brown.

A special treat for my readers (and occasional stalker) today:

Julie's oldest son, Travis, decided he wanted to carve pumpkins for Halloween.
This in and of itself is not unusual. People all over carve pumpkins, some quite creatively and with rather interesting patterns.

After opening and hollowing out the pumpkins, he got the idea to put Kadie, the rather photogenic and incredibly adorable dog into the pumpkin, as you see here.



With that accomplished, Travis thought it'd be a good idea to stuff Bob, one of Julie's cats, into the pumpkin. Bob's a good kitty, especially affectionate in the bathroom (don't ask), but somewhat shy and unwilling to try new things, as seen here...

Of course, you can't torture one without torturing the other. It was Rico's turn next, Julie's older (and somewhat larger) cat. Rico is less active, but more vocal, about what displeases him...

Of course, it was all in good fun. The pumpkins didn't get finished last night, but the memory will last a lifetime.

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog.

A surprise...

This weekend, in Sycamore (DeKalb's neighbor), they've had a cool Pumpkin Festival with a parade, rides, decorated pumpkin contests...just a big party.

We went to the high school yesterday for an antique show (vendors too, but with some cool stuff...like amazing cinnamon banana roasted pecans), and wandered around a bit.

Today, we got up early went back into town. You have to go early for three reasons:

* Get a good parking spot
* Get a good parade viewing spot
* Get some good food.

And there was good food a-plenty to be had. Caramel apples. Beer-battered Brats on a Stick. Spiced Apple Cider.

Julie, Cory, Hailey and I walked around for a bit, the sun shining and a cool breeze whipping through the streets. We stopped in a candle and scent shop and Julie got a cool scented oil diffuser. We all got free tea lights. There was a cat in there. It was really cool.

Leaving there, we walked up the street. I said "let's go in here", to a jewelry shop Julie brought me to before, when she got her Grandma's old ring cleaned and fixed.

There's been a ring in there that Julie had wanted since she first laid eyes upon it. An orange diamond. Gorgeous ring.

Today, when we went in there, I bought her that ring.



Putting it on her finger, I whispered in her ear "you do know what this means, don't you?" She said "I'm going to marry you".

It was then I asked her to marry me. She said yes.

:)

Yeah, I should be sleeping, but...

...instead, I sit and read and listen to music and blog and stuff like that.
Tomorrow morning (likely VERY early) I'll get on the road and go back out to DeKalb. I've missed Julie so much these past couple weeks. It's amazing how happy she makes me (and how happy I make her). With her, I'm complete, I think. She has my heart, and I love her so very much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've heard it all before. What else is new, I know.

Well...

I had a real estate agent come by and we talked about selling the house. I could do one of two things:

• Sell the house as/is for less money, or
  
• Fix up a few things and get more cash.

It's a no-brainer, really. It'll require a little scraping of old paint (and the wallpaper it's been painted over), a fresh coat of new paint and (maybe) ripping up 20 year old rugs (I've got hard wood...floors!), and I might be able to get an extra few grand out of the house.

Also, I've gotta take paintings and pictures down (no biggie, since I was going to do so anyway) and take out some of the furniture (once again, already planned). The real estate agent said there was "too much furniture in the dining room", and really, she's right. Besides the table and four chairs, there's a bar, a dresser/cabinet, an entertainment center loaded with photo albums, DVDs and CDs, another entertainment stand with the stereo and more movies and music, an old organ...the list goes on.

The good news is, according to the research she's already done, houses in my area sell fairly quickly, within an average of sixty days. That's not too shabby, given the current economy (but then, this isn't a big, super-expensive home, and the Pittsburgh market hasn't been too too bad). My insurance will cover the house for six months, should I have to leave it vacant that long, before the coverage drops to fire only.

And, best of all...I get to be closer to my love. I think I can live with that, and the extra bit of work that needs to be done isn't that bad.

So, yeah, I'll be leaving Pittsburgh behind, moving out to DeKalb. My family...well...I've talked to two of my brothers, and I know they're worried, but they also understand that it's my life, and they know that Julie makes me happy.

Julie...

Okay, I think I will call it a night, now. Go to bed and get some sleep. Do a little more cleaning out tomorrow, call it an early night (promise!) and be ready to go see my angel...

Random Notes for October 17, 2008

A few odds and ends to talk about today...

• I got a phone call from the Realtor today. She'll be out to see the house Tuesday afternoon at 2 to talk to me about selling the place.

This the first time I've ever had to deal with selling or buying a house, really. When I "bought" the house before, all I had to do is go to my attorney's office and sign a paper. I've no idea what I've got to do. My buddy's given me a few pointers, but if any of y'all out there have suggestions, either leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

• To this end, I've started cleaning out 50+ years of stuff.

This is daunting, and that's an understatement. I remember what it was like two years ago, going through The Kid's papers to find the will and power of attorney. I found receipts from 40+ years ago, for pity's sake!

Her room's pretty much cleared out. All that's left in there is her old furniture (anyone want a vanity and dresser? All you've gotta do is pick it up and haul it away. I'll even through in a used organ...), and the cedar chest, which comes with me. Yes, there are her memories and papers in there, but I want the chest (always did), and I can go through that at my leisure.

Today, I tackled the hall closet. Oy vey. There's old coats of hers that she hasn't worn in 10+ years, my brother's books from when he was in college (and he graduated 30 years ago), a really cool old microscope, and my old records.

Wait. Read that again. I found my old records!

I understand to you, gentle reader, this means diddly, but to me...these are lost memories that I thought were long gone. These are the 33rpm records (younger readers might not now what that is...ask if you're not sure) that I played over and over when I was a kid.

It was so bloody wonderful to open the one bag in there and see my old records. Even my original Bill Cosby comedy albums (those got played more than anything else, with perhaps the exception of Johnny Horton's Battle of New Orleans, and that one got played A LOT.) were in there.

Brought a big smile to my face, lemme tell ya.

• Speaking of things I found...check this out:

No, that's not my Hallowe'en costume, going as a fat, balding Fonzie.

Awhile back, I told Julie that I used to wear a biker jacket in the Winter. For some reason, she found it hard to believe that I would wear such a thing, and I told her that when I found it, I'd put it on and take a picture.

It was in the hall closet, so I just had to put it on and take a picture. And yes, sweetheart, it's coming with me to DeKalb.

On that note, Julie's probably done with work for the day. I'm gonna take a break and then get back to work cleaning out my closets...

Video didn't kill the radio star

I can remember, when I was a little kid, waiting every week for the new issue of TV Guide to come to the house. I'd get it and put it on the end table near the couch, under the current issue, and not let anyone look at it until that week was over.

I loved TV Guide. Mind you, I'm talking about the old digest-sized TV Guide, not this new magazine-sized imposter. I would read it from cover to cover, every week, even if I didn't understand what all the articles meant. Even did the crossword puzzle in the back of the book most weeks.

I'd wait for the new Fall Preview Issue. Oh, that was a special one, one that would be kept for a few weeks (every other issue was tossed into the garbage Saturday morning). It was so cool, seeing the listings for all the new shows coming, wanting to see the cool ones and forgetting about those dull, boring dramas.

TV Guide meant to me there was another week coming. As a kid, I figured that if we didn't get a new issue of TV Guide, well, the world was going to come to an end. No TV Guide...no more life.

Yeah, I was a warped little kid.

We stopped getting TV Guide years ago, around the time so many new cable stations started to appear. There were so many options, guides on the TV and on this new, marvellous invention called the internet, why did we need this little book? After so long, we ended the subscription and just decided to "wing it". Whatever was on, we watched.

As a kid, I watched a lot of TV. The older I got, I watched less and less, with fewer and fewer shows coming out to hold my interest. I can count on probably one hand (maybe adding an extra finger or two) TV shows that have captured my interest to the point that I had to see them. Otherwise, it was background noise, something to fill the void in an empty home.

Some night, I wouldn't even turn the TV on. A shocking concept, to be sure, but I was content to listen to a record, read (Heavens forbid!), or just surf the web.

About two years ago, I dropped cable and switched to a satellite. We got cable in the house back in 1981, when cable was in its infancy and MTV actually showed music videos. Mind you, I love the dish, and I won't switch back to cable. There's more choices, a better signal, and my rates don't go up every time some VP at the cable company farts.

But yesterday, to go along with the changes in my life, I did something that, as a child, would have seemed impossible.

I stopped the TV service.

Well, not stopped, but more like put on a six-month "hold". I haven't been here to watch the TV, and since I'm looking more toward moving to DeKalb, I really don't have time to watch the boob tube anymore. A phone call later, and my dish service is "paused".

Last night, when I'd normally be going into the living room and flip on the television, I popped in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Paused it a couple times when Julie called, but that was it. No TV shows for me to stay up late and watch. No annoying commercials. No flipping through 500 channels and not finding one damn thing worth watching.

It was an amazing experience, one that still, today, seems somehow surreal (and I can't even watch The Surreal Life).

Yes, I'm aware I can watch most of the shows on the Internet, but I'm not comfortable doing that. Places like Youtube and their ilk are good for short clips, but to sit and watch a whole show on the computer? I'm a geek, but I'm not ready to go there.

In six months time, I don't know if I'll restart the dish service. I may. I may not. Yes, it's nice to have the shows, the diversions, the entertainment. But I prefer my music, and I still have my XM radio. I've got DVDs out the yin-yang. Sure, it'd be cool to have Julie over to watch the race in high-def (even though she doesn't see a difference, she might sing a different tune when she sees Dale Jr. in crystal-clear high definition...and then have her forget her loving boyfriend again...sigh), but I don't know, right now, if I want the TV back.

Another day, another change. Interesting where life takes you, isn't it...and I don't even have a copy of TV Guide to tell me what's on anymore.

Online, offline and holding the line

Well, that was quick, wasn't it?

Okay, explanation time, if you didn't hear.

Before I left for my last DeKalb visit, I went and switched my home telephone number from Verizon to Vonage. Vonage is cheaper, and has a more features which appeal to me these days (like accessing my voicemail online and a virtual DeKalb phone number). I did the switch, it worked, and it was all good.

Except...switching the home phone number from the phone company meant that they were cancelling my home phone service. Not a good thing, trust me.

When I got home, I found that I had no DSL. Given that I'm trying to find work and need to stay in touch with the woman I love, who happens to be over 500 miles from me, being offline is a bad thing.

A long phone call back to Verizon (my cell phone bill is gonna be bad again this month...sigh) later, I was able to setup DSL service through them, but not without consequences:

* I had to cancel DSL through my long-term provider, Speakeasy. This hurt. I loved their service, and losing them, while expected and even planned, was unpleasant. If you ever used the onestar@speakeasy.net e-mail address, you can delete it, as that account is gone.

* Verizon told me it could take up to 10 days to get my DSL back up and running at home. This was unacceptable, I told them, and believe me, I spoke to about a half-dozen people, all the way down to the local connection office on Friday, in the hopes I'd be connected sooner than October 20th.

Thankfully, it seems someone there listened, and I'm back up and running with a dedicated DSL line here at home. If you have my home phone number, you can call it safely and I'll be able to answer. I think I'll have to put my cell phone in the freezer to let it cool down from all the use it's received over the last few days...

Now then. Time for the big news. Some of you are probably expecting the next sentence and won't be surprised in the least. Some of you, friends and stalkers alike, might be surprised.

I'm leaving Pittsburgh.

For the last month, I've been actively seeking employment out near Julie. I've decided, after the last trip back here from seeing her, I don't want to leave her. I want to be nearer to her, and she wants me there as well.

I'll put my home up for sale, and start the process of relocating out to the Mid-West.

I don't want to start 2009 here. I will be in DeKalb, near the woman I love, to start the new year.

I've applied for over three dozen jobs out there, and while I haven't heard anything yet, I'm continuing to apply, I'll be working with headhunters, and am actively seeking employment there.

My heart is out there. I don't want to be here anymore.

So while I'm back online, you might not see or hear from me as much as you used to. I've got things to do...lots of things...to make this work. I'll keep you posted as how things go, job hunting, living accommodations, stuff like that...as I make this move.

Offline

I'm going to be offline for a while, folks.

I've no internet at home (again), and it's gonna be a few days before I can get back online there.

It's either borrow my buddy's connection of hang out in coffee shops to get on.

Be back when I can...

In all fairness...

For my birthday, Julie bought me some new clothes. For some reason, she dislikes parts of my wardrobe, as we learned from the whole blazer or no blazer debacle.

Among the gifts was this new henley shirt:



It's a long-sleeved shirt. I won't wear long sleeves until it gets to about, oh, 10 below zero, so I pushed the sleeves up.

Time to take this to the Court of Public Opinion (for fun, of course...this is all in good fun you know). What do you think?

Okay, which looks better? The classic blazer or the new henley look?

Blazer. Classics never go out of styleHenley. Join the 21st Century, willya?Other. Where's the pillow?

pollcode.com free polls

C'mon. Vote. I'll still do what I please, mind you...

Just call me "gramps"

Time to bring this to the court of public opinion.

It's a little chilly in DeKalb today, and I wanted to wear my blazer. Now, folks know I love my blazers...but Julie doesn't seem to think I look good in 'em.

For your consideration...please take a look at the two examples presented below:





She seems to think that these sportcoats make me look like I'm 71, and not 41. I like the feel of a sport coat. It's a classic look. Julie, on the other hand, thinks they're from the 70's (okay...maybe more like early 80''s) and says they make me look more than just old-school...just plain old.

So I ask you, gentle reader, to offer your two cents worth. Sport coat or no?

Not that it matters. I'm too stubborn for my own good, and if I like 'em, I'll wear 'em (just not around my love...)

Sportcoats: Yea or Nay?
	Yes. They look good on you, and if you like it, go for it.
	No. It makes you look old and icky. Update the look, grams.
	Obligatory "other" choice, since I'm not getting between you and your girlfriend.
pollcode.com free polls

Defining moments in a life

Music.

Those who know me, know it's as integral to my life as the woman I love, the air I breathe and the food I eat. Music has kept me going through the good times as well as the bad. It's more than just background noise...and should never be treated as such.

Yes, I know. Not everyone shares my passion for music. Some just "see" it, as I said, as background noise, something to have on in the car while they're driving or in the house to fill the empty spaces in their lives. I don't see it as such. To me, it's needed to define moments, put things in perspective, or just simply carry me away to a safe place inside my soul.

There isn't a week, it seems, that goes past that I'm not buying a CD. And yes, let's get this out of the way now: I don't like digital downloads. They're not as good as CDs, even though CDs today are mostly audibly overproduced pieces of noise made louder to satisfy the iPod and their ilk. Dynamic range is a thing of the past. Tonal quality sacrificed at the altar of a lie jokingly referred to as "cd-quality". Pfft. That's likely the second biggest joke I've ever heard, with the concept of "conservatives for change" narrowly beating it out.

But I digress. As I said, there isn't a week that goes past where I haven't bought at least one CD. This week, well, I've got four of them sitting near me as I type. Colin Hay (the lead singer of the 80's band Men at Work) did a solo album with acoustic version of his old group's biggest hits, along with some of his solo material, and it's damn good. Well worth tracking down, if only to hear "Overkill" done acoustically.

A couple blasts from the past as well: Metallica's self-titled (and sometimes referred to as the "black" album) from '91 is part of my collection again, as well as a greatest hits package by Cheap Trick, something that's long been missing from my collection.

I also decided I wanted something new. During a recent visit to a Barnes and Noble (yeah, they're slightly overpriced, but you can listen to samples of every album they have, and they've got excellent Jazz and Classical sections), I picked up the new release by an artist from Mali named Issa Bagayogo.

His style's considered electronic, but this new album also has some Jazz overtones to it. Listening to samples of some of the tracks, I was hooked, and picked it up. It's in the car CD player now, and it's been nice to listen to there, but I have to devote some time to listen to it at home where I can enjoy it uninterrupted.

Yes. Believe it or not, I still try to sit back and listen to albums the way they were meant to be listened to...by themselves with no interruptions. No TV, no games, not while reading or cooking or whatever, but just hearing the music for the sake of the music.

Although it's next to impossible to find in the new layout Facebook offers, I have an app that shows what I'm listening to on Winamp. Right now, The Fugees are playing Killing Me Softly. I've got my noise cancelling headphones on, which is so cool that it's even drowning out the sound of my fingers going across the keyboard at full speed.

What about you? What drives you, musically? Is it mere background noise filling in the holes in your life or does it have a greater meaning than that? Most importantly...what are you listening to right now?

September 29, 1967

Here's the truth: I hate my birthday.

Only those closest to me know the date. It's protected on Facebook, and I've done my level best to restrict the knowledge of it everywhere else. The majority of my co-workers don't know when it is, and those that do know that not only do I not celebrate it, I don't even like to talk about it. 

I'm pretty passionate about it, but no one knows why. Since the 45th anniversary of my day of arrival on this orb has arrived (I buried this article, written in 2012, way back in my archives so it wouldn't be found), I guess I can talk about it now. 

I had a good childhood. Not many friends, but I had a couple, and they were around for a party and cake and presents and the what-not. At least, that's what the pictures tells me. Don't remember much about those days, and it doesn't really bother me that much. Only thing I do remember was this balloon I had; an orange kangaroo named Hoppy. It was a birthday thing. It was something My Kid got, I guess, when I was a baby and it was tradition to get it out and blow it up and put it on the table. Hoppy's long gone, but it's the one memory I still have. 

As I got older, birthdays became more of a family thing. My older brothers, all moved out and on their own now, would come over and we'd have cake, ice cream...you know, the usual. Mum insisted they come over on my birthday, not the weekend before or after, but that day. A birthday, to her, wasn't a holiday that you could celebrate any other time. Birthdays were meant to be celebrated on your day of birth. 

That was the case, at least, until I turned 12. My birthday was on a Saturday, which conflicted with The Big Game (Panthers were playing someone, dunno who, at Pitt Stadium) and my brothers decided the game was more important that my birthday. They went to it and came over to the house Sunday. It was at that point, I decided, I didn't want any more parties, didn't want to celebrate it, didn't even want to acknowledge the day. You had something better to do, go do it. 

I wonder sometimes if that's part of the reason why I loathe football. No, wait. It's because football is slow, boring, and only good for putting me to sleep. That's why I hate football. 

After that, Mum tried to do something for my birthday, but it wasn't the same. No parties. No cake. I didn't want anything to do with the day. 

I tried to have some friends over my 21st, but since I don't drink, it was kinda boring for them. Looking back at it, it was more just an evening with friends hanging out over at my place (something else that happened very rarely as I got older). We had pizza, sat around and talked and didn't do much else. 

My birthday, to me, became a quiet day of reflection. If I could, I'd take the day off work, claiming I was sick or just in need of a day off. For close to 20 years, no one knew of the day. Mum, bless her, tried to do something for me. We'd end up going out to dinner someplace, but as she was getting older, even that fell by the wayside. 

Then she got...bad. Onset of Alzheimer’s. Dementia. She had to be institutionalized while I tried to find a nursing home that could take care of her, because I'd done all I could. 

On my 39th birthday, I stopped by the hospital after work, as I'd done for nearly two months by this point, to spend some time with her. For whatever reason, the nurse was making notes on her sheet, and she asked what day it was. I told her. Mum sat there, and started mumbling the date, wondering why it was so important.

I told her it was just another day. The last thing I wanted was for her to remember it was my birthday and feel bad, somewhere in her mind or heart, that she was there and could do nothing for me.  If she would've thought about it, and remembered what day it was...the pain would've been too much for both of us.

When I turned 40, I was...seeing someone. I was never in a relationship with someone on my birthday, believe it or not. There was a very dear friend whom I loved, but did not love me, that I would go out with (strictly as friends) on my birthday, but the best I ever got was when I kissed her on the cheek. In fact, she'd blown me off several times, so I'd hoped I could spend what I considered a milestone (40 is kinda impressive, I think) with someone who loved me.

Won't go into details. Let's just leave it at...I was alone that night, as usual. Once again, my birthday was just another day.

When that relationship ended, I'd sworn that I would live the rest of my life alone. Kept that promise too, for all of about six months, before I'd met Julie.

My angel.

It's one of life's little ironies, but our birthdays are eight days apart. Same year, same month, separated by only a few days. I think that's incredible. Our first year together, we decided to go to Lake Geneva the weekend between our birthdays, just the two of us, for an overnight. It was an amazing weekend, even if I didn't get the most amazing pizza in the world. (That's another story for another time.)

That year, I spent it with Julie. Best damn birthday I'd had in a long, long time.

Shortly after that, I'd moved out here to DeKalb, out of the only home I'd ever known into my own apartment. It was just down the street from her. A little while later, I got a job (out of work for a year and a half...yadda, yadda, yadda...that story's elsewhere, go look it up) and was coming home from work on my 41st birthday to a surprise party, thrown by my stepdaughter.

It was the first surprise party anyone ever threw for me.

That following year, I was in Phoenix for my birthday, flying home after being away for two weeks. Naturally, we had to go to Applebees for dinner, where everyone was waiting.

These days, the kids know...or at least, they used to know...when my birthday was. Sometimes they get a little too wrapped up in their lives to remember my day, but that's okay. I don't expect anything from them, and I don't say that in a bad way. They've got their own lives to lead, and their own bills to pay. Save their money for themselves. If they think of me that day...which would probably constitute a miracle...I'd be okay.

Julie will wish me a happy birthday several times that day, even though this year, she'll have to work that night. S'okay. I'll be there when she gets off work, and we can sleep in the next morning. To be by her side makes me happier than anything.

Some of the friends I have on Facebook will post something to my page, but those who've known me longer will know all I ask them to post is a smile. Back in my DeviantArt days, I asked my friends there not to wish me a “happy birthday”, but just put a smile on my page. All I wanted is, if they thought about me, I'd hope it'd bring a smile to their faces, and just share that smile with someone else. That was good enough for me.

So now you know. Now maybe you'll understand why I hate, loathe, detest and ignore that day. I'll let it pass quietly as I start another year. If you happen to read this, and know when my birthday is, and you want to wish me something, just smile. That's all. Share a smile and I'll be happy.

After all, as Paul said, it's just another day.

41

Yanno, I sat here, wrote something incredibly deep and so full of bullshit that even I had to look at it and go...screw that.

It's a day. I'm gonna spend it with the woman I love.

The 40th year is over. Time to move on. Let's go have some fun.

Oh, and yes, I changed the color of the blog. It's blue. I like blue.
Don't read anything more to it than that...it's just something a little...different.

Nothin' wrong with different.

Poor little puppy...

Over at my flickr page, I posted this shot of Julie's dog.. I love this shot so much, and I wanted to blog the story behind the shot.

Kadie Madison is a chihuahua-shih tzu mix. She's totally lovable, extremely playful, and a bed hog. Yes, this little dog somehow manages to take up more of the bed than everyone else in the house, myself included. She loves to snuggle, and has almost pushed me out of bed on more than one occasion.

Yesterday, she had an appointment with the groomer. Julie's kids have been trying for some time to get their mom to have Kadie groomed, and get the hair out of her eyes. Finally relenting, the appointment was made, and a very nervous and scared little Kadie was left with the groomers to get "prettied up".

After a couple hours (and a nervous mother and daughter...the latter wanting her little puppy back home), Kadie was ready to be picked up.

We went over to the groomers and got the little angel, all trimmed, hair out of her eyes, looking like a little puppy all over again. The ride home, she leaned against my chest (nowhere near as hard as she did when we were leaving her there...she was pushing with all her might against, not wanting to be left there), and walking into the house, she seemed...lethargic.

This little dog has a lot of energy. She's very playful, happy to toss around a ball or bite my fingers and growl (playing, of course...I call her the "ferocious little beast" when we play). Yesterday, though, she didn't want to do anything. I tried to take her for a walk and she didn't want to move.

I shot this photo on the porch of the house. She looked so pathetic! I love how the background of the photo's overexposed. It emphasizes Kadie, I think, and the look in her eyes...

It wasn't until Julie got home from work and told me it was the bandanna around her neck that she was upset over. When they first put a collar on her as a puppy, she moped around for almost four days before getting over it.

Julie took the bandanna off, and the happy, playful little dog returned.

Right now, Kadie's waiting for me in the other room, waiting for someone to go play with her. I think I'll go see if she wants to be a "ferocious little beast" and have some fun...

These are the days of our lives

I intended to sit here and blog a little this morning.
Then Kadie, Julie's dog, came in and wanted to play.

I've better things to do than sit here and blog right now.
I'll be back later.

Until then...I think Freddy Mercury said it best...

A little waterlogged, but none the worse for wear

Thursday night, 9:20PM CDT.
DeKalb, IL.

I left Pittsburgh Monday before the dawn. Woke up around 2:30 and could not go back to sleep, so I figured...might as well get ready and go.

The trip was uneventful, but gorgeous. I kinda like driving that hour of the morning: Few idiots, and few state police, on the highway. Although it was raining when I left PA, the skies cleared and I was Driving With the Moon again. Always nice to go for a ride with the moon lighting my way, this time, leading me to my love.

The rains from Ike that hit the Midwest made for some interesting moments. Usually, I bypass the heart of Chicago, taking 80/94 to the South and coming up 294 before I hit the East/West Tollway, but 80/94 was closed due to flooding. I was amazed that the entire roadway was closed...and also a bit lost. I'd only ever gone the one way, and here I was going on unfamiliar roads.



Thankfully, I had a rough idea where I was going. When Julie and I spent the weekend in Toledo, she didn't take my turn-off, and went through the heart of the city. She called me for directions, and I had a Triptik in the glove compartment (long story for another blog) how to get there. I talked her through it then, and remembered the directions.

It did add a good hour travel time, however. I'm just thankful I didn't have to go through Chicago during peak rush hour. How folks make it on those roads is beyond me.

When I did make it to DeKalb, it was right before she left work. Mind you, when Julie called me earlier, I sorta...fibbed...on where I was, telling her I was about two hours behind where I was actually was. I pulled into the parking lot at her Target just as she and her team were coming out the door. Rolled down the window and told her "Excuse me, I'm looking for some help finding something..."

To say she was surprised and happy to see me was an understatement.

It's been nice these last few days. I've sent in a bunch of resumes and applications for work out here. Haven't heard anything yet, but I'm hopeful.

Tomorrow's going to be game night here. I've heard stories of the game nights held here at the Williams household in the past, and I'm looking forward to it. Julie's stressing a little: She wants the house to look a certain way before company arrives, and I fear I might've been a...distraction. I know it'll be last minute, but tomorrow, whatever I can do to help clean, I will.

I think I shocked her a little this evening when I washed the dishes in the sink...

This weekend, Julie and I are going to Lake Geneva for a getaway, just the two of us. It's going to be...romantic...I believe. We're both looking forward to getting up early, getting on the road, and just spending some "us" time together.

The more time I spend with her, the harder it is for me to leave here. Hopefully, I'll find work out here, find a place to live (no, I'm not going to move in with Julie just yet) and spend more time with my love and my family.

It's been...amazing, and I believe the best is yet to come.

Sunday morning blogging

I've been up for about two hours now.

Sunday morning have always been quiet times for me. When The Kid was home, I'd get up early to take her to church (she always wanted to go to the early service...7AM early). I'd drive her to the church (right around the corner from the house, but with her bad feet and bad eyesight, it was easier for me to drive her), come home and shower. By the time I was done (as Julie will tell you, I take more time in the bathroom than she does), church would be over. I'd go get her, and we'd go out for breakfast and grocery shopping.

These days, I sleep in a little later. Get up, still take too much time in the bathroom, and come downstairs for a bit of breakfast (this morning, cereal, but some days I'll make microwave pancakes and sausage on the Foreman grill), and ease into the Sunday slowly.

Around lunchtime, I'll get in the car and drive out to check on The Kid. Usually, by the time I get there, they've put her down in bed for an afternoon nap (they get her up around 6, and usually after lunch, she's a little tired, even if she refuses to admit it). I sometimes have them get her up, or I'll pull up the chair next to the bed and visit.

At least, that's what I've done.

Tomorrow, I leave for three weeks with Julie. With any luck, I'll find a job out there, and I'll start the process of moving out to be closer to her.

My life until now had been dull, boring and routine. Not any longer.

I'd always known (and I've mentioned it here in the pages of this blog) that my 40th year on this planet would bring changes to my life. I just never realized how big those changes would be.

The 40th year is drawing to a close. Yeah, that day is almost upon us. Julie said to me last night that she thinks I want to make more of a big deal of it than I'm saying. Honestly, it'll be nice (and different) to spend my birthday with someone who loves me. I've tried to do that before, and it hasn't worked out too well.

It's been a very long time since I've celebrated a birthday. When I was 16, my brothers blew off my birthday because they had tickets to a football game. There was no party, no celebration, no nothing. After that, I decided I didn't want another party. Acknowledge the day, as I've long told my friends, and then let's move on.

It used to frustrate My Kid because she wanted to do something, anything, for my birthday. I told her no cake, no presents, nothing. I just wanted to take the day off work, sleep in, and maybe go out for a nice dinner. That's all. She'd try and find something silly for me, and I appreciated it. I knew how hard it was for her to do or get anything.

On my 39th birthday, she was in the mental hospital. I went up to visit with her, but I told the staff not to tell her it was my birthday...I didn't want her remembering or feeling bad because she couldn't do anything for me, not that she could. She was coming out of therapy when I came in to see her. A nurse was writing a report and asked what's the date. I said it, and The Kid said "why does that sound familiar". I told her it wasn't important...it wasn't anything special.

This year, we'll do the same. It'll be just another day. Acknowledge it and move on.

I'll be spending it with the woman I love. Maybe we'll go out for dinner. Maybe I'll just get an extra long hug from her. Doesn't matter. All I want is to be with her.

Hm. Not sure where this all came from. Just started typing and it poured out. Maybe these are things I needed to say.

They're said now. I think I'll disable comments for this post. Just accept this for what it is...