And so it goes

This will be, most likely, the final entry in The Journal of Onestar.

When these words appear, gentle reader, Julie and I will be taking our vows to become Husband and Wife. Three years and three days after we met online, we're getting married. And yes, I'm typing this in advance. I may be good, but there's no way I can blog and say "I Do" at the same time, and even if I could, I doubt it'd go over very well.

I know I've ended this blog in the past, only to come back to it again. My production here has seriously dropped off over the years, so this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. I started this mostly as a place to vent frustrations, share fears, have an outlet for things that were going on in my life.

2006, when this blog started in earnest, marked the beginning of the most tumultuous time in my life. My aunt had passed away the previous October and my mother, whom I'd spent years caring for, started her decline in earnest. I'd spent months watching a strong woman unravel at the seams, her depression grow into the onset of dementia and ultimately lead to her going into a nursing home.

Two years later, I lost a job through no one's fault but my own, one I'd had for nearly nine years. It was something I loved, even if it did have its minor detractions. Out of work in the midst of one of the worst recessions this country's faced with few if any good prospects, the outlook was bleak...until I met Julie.

At my worst, I found my best.

The story of our love has unfolded here, shared for my friends and foes alike to see, and both have visited many times. Yeah, I was out of work, but I spent the Summer of 2008 traveling back and forth from Pittsburgh to DeKalb to see her, each trip a little longer, each time neither wanting to part. We both knew what we wanted, we both knew it would lead to this day, but we were willing to take our time and make sure it was done correctly, properly.

Right now, I'm standing in a tuxedo, my best man, best friend and a man who has been more of a brother to me than my real brothers standing by my side as I watch her walk toward me. In a sense, this is merely a formality: Many already think we are married, and in my heart, well...

In my heart I've been married to her for awhile now, and she has been married to me.

Things are a little better today than when I first met her three years ago. I have a stable, full-time job again, doing what I love to do. I have a family here whom I get to come home to daily and who like and care for me. We have a place, and we're talking about finding our own home together here.

I'm a Pittsburgher in my heart, but my home is with Julie. We're here in DeKalb for the foreseeable future, not only because we have good jobs here, but also because our family is here. Our grandson is here. How can we leave?

Onestar was born 20 years ago, a character for a game that I kept around, tweaked, gave a history and a life to, forged into an online character that led me to meet many good friends and some good adventures along the way. The only problem is, you can't have Onestar without the "One" at the beginning, and that's something I am not. Not any longer.

So it's time to put this character, this persona, this Onestar behind me. Hey, 20 years as one character ain't bad.

But it is time to move on.

I'll leave this blog here, maybe for a day, maybe forever. I doubt I'll update it, but as I learned, I won't say "never". Never say never. The Universe doesn't like it when you say that.

And who knows? I'll likely blog again. Julie seems to like it when I write, seeing what I have to say, and I admit, I still like to blog, share good things and bad with my friends every now and then. It just won't be here.

There is a certain melancholy to writing this last blog entry. I spent a long time writing The Journal of Onestar, in one form or another, with friends and alone. If life is a book, then this chapter has closed, and it's just time to move onto another. When you see me again, I'll no longer be a bachelor, I'll be a husband, to the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful, sexy, caring, and loving woman.

My Julie, my angel.

So until we meet again, somewhere down the line, this is farewell. It's been a helluva run, these past 20 years. Time to let Onestar take a nap. He earned it.

Goodbye.

What are you looking for?

Here's the question of the day, and if you see this, please comment.

Why did you visit this page?

I had someone in Lafayette, Colorado Google "Journal of Onestar", and it led them here.

So I'm wondering...why did you visit here? What are you looking for?

Did you come across this randomly? Were you looking for someone you once knew?

Oh, I have a pretty good idea who that was in Lafayette that searched for "Journal of Onestar". Just like I have a pretty good idea who in Pittsburgh visits here every once in awhile, just like I know who in DeKalb, Illinois comes here every few days.

But there's a part of me that always wonders why? So I ask...what are you looking for? What do you want?

Say something, please. If you don't, well...that's nothing different, and I won't be like the cat who died from curiosity (as much as some may wish). I'd just like to know.

Oh, and if you didn't notice, I'm getting married in 19 days. The least you could do is offer your congratulations.

Double nickels

It's 55 days to go. Let's see...

Invitations have all been mailed. If you're a stalker and haven't received one, I'm sorry.

I've gotta do a pre-filing form for my bankruptcy. Looked at a few placed online, and requested information for one, but they never responded. Back to the list.

It's a very daunting task, having to file for bankruptcy. Never wanted to do it, but I sorta have no choice now.

Last Sunday, Julie, I and a few of the kids went to the Chicago Auto Show. Wow. It was HUGE! So much to see and do, even though we were there for hours, I don't think we saw everything.

I know, I hardly post here anymore. Right now, I don't have much more to say, so this one is done.

90 days

It's now three months until the wedding. I realize it's been awhile, so to go along with yet another new header, I figure I'd offer an update.

Plans are in place 100%. Invitations are printed and should start going out shortly. I've been fitted for my tux and Julie's been over to be measured for her dress, which she's making probably as I type this. All that remains are the small details (like paying for the thing).

Hotel blocks were set aside months ago, and the information is in the invitation. We're going to go out soon and set up a very small wedding registry. There's little we need, really, but we figure we should (not that we're expecting gifts. I just think it's cool that I can go set up a wedding registry!)

Just as we've gone and had Julie's ring sized and fitted, so has mine. I tried it on last week. Julie asked if it seems weird, but really, it feels just right on my finger. I'm looking forward to wearing it full-time.

Our photographer, the amazing, incredible and utterly fan-freaking-tastic Donna Craddock is psyched and ready to make the Transatlantic voyage to shoot the wedding.

Just when I think we settled on flavors for the wedding cake, Julie isn't so sure. Sigh...

We're not nervous, really. Most folks are surprised when they find out we're not married yet. We act like a very happily married couple anyway.

It's hard to believe, sometimes, that we've been planning and preparing this for over a year now. The day is fast approaching, and I for one cannot wait.

Header fun

Yes, I'm experimenting with new headers. Right now, I'm using this:

This might stay or it might go. I dunno right now...